Thursday, July 28, 2022

Last Annual Vol State 500k Race Report

Buckle in, this is a doozy! Most of this was written for myself to be able to get the experience into words, but I figured I'd share it for friends and family who'd also like to know what my adventure was like! The post starts with what I shared on facebook and then dives into the details! I wrote waaaay too much and don't expect anyone to read it, so editing was a little lax.

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Generosity, kindness, camaraderie.

Not likely the first three words you think of when asked to describe an extremely difficult 314-mile road race in July that consists of navigating through Tennessee while managing your needs for sleep, food, and water all while addressing foot issues and the various other problems that can crop up (hello chafing!). 

This event really is a journey of discovering that there is so much good in the world. I will get into the nitty gritty of the journey itself (maybe as a dedicated race report rather than on facebook), but for now it’s all blurry impressions for me. The Last Annual Vol State was a LOT emotionally, physically, mentally. Time existed and it didn’t. Days turned into nights and nights turned into days, but we were still walking, running, eating, drinking, shitting, pissing, existing, surviving, laughing, crying, and experiencing what the road gave us. 

One of the most precious things that the road gave? Road angels. These are people along the course that pull over to hand you a bottle of water or a popsicle (I cried after receiving a bomb pop on a long stretch of highway around mile 150ish). There are also amazing road angel setups from people who live along the route. There is nothing more incredible than suffering with sleepiness, hunger, or thirst and coming upon a random spot on the side of the road with chairs, a cooler, and snacks. Some road angels really go out of their way with canopies, chairs, fans, cots, medical supplies, etc. These are people who likely won’t even see you go by and have no clue that you used their stop except noticing their supplies dwindling and the chairs are in different spots. It’s a fully selfless act to provide support to the runners. Some road angels rent port-a-potties and the Nutt family has even installed an outdoor shower outside of their home specifically for the runners; I cannot believe how much these kind souls do for strangers. I am eternally grateful to all of the amazing people out there. 

My fellow Vol Staters were amazing as well. I got to share the 8 hour bus ride to the start with Steven Dence and Diane Durden and miles on the road with Oak J Miller Joey Lichter, Jun Lin, Greg Wolodkin, Tin Ha, and others. We worked through dark times, kept each other going, and had giggle fits about the dumbest things. Due to the distance of the run, most people don’t stay together the whole time unless they plan to do so in advance. Who you run with at certain times is up to the universe. People connect for a few miles and then drift apart. I loved the fluid nature of finding people to spend time with and then going back to having only yourself as company. Being part of this event is special and I feel connected to every person who did it, from the winners who finished in under 4 days to the folks that are still out there and won’t finish until Sunday. We all traveled the same roads and all of our journeys were remarkably similar, but also vastly different. 

I struggle to put into words how special LAVS was. I don’t think I can ever adequately describe it. I will tell anyone and everyone not to do it. It sucks. It’s hard. But goddamn, it was incredible. I cannot believe I did this thing.


What I Wore:

  • XOSKIN Bottoms
  • XOSKIN Short sleeve shirt (night time)
  • DeSoto Cooling shirt (day time)
  • Columbia Sun Hat
  • XOSKIN xotoes (2 pair)
  • Lululemon Airsupport bra
  • Underarmor underoos (2)
  • Altra Paradigm shoes


 What I Brought:

  • Salomon 12L Adv Skin Pack (with 2L bladder & 500ml soft flask)
  • Coros Vertix 2 watch & charger (had to charge once)
  • Petzl headlamp (with the battery pack that takes AAA batteries)
  • Electronics (powerxcel power bank, two plug charger, cords to charge power bank and phone, corded headphones that I forgot I had)
  • Foot kit (kt tape, leukotape, moleskin, scissors, lighter, bandaids in various sizes, engo patches, safety pins for blister popping, alcohol wipes)
  • Toothbrush and paste
  • Anti-microbial pad for wiping pee
  • Tinklebell female urination device
  • Desitin
  • Bug spray
  • Sunscreen
  • Emergency poncho
  • Emergency blanket
  • Emergency ziplock w/ cash, extra chargers, spare debit card, electrolytes
  • Clip on shades
  • Pepperspray
  • Misc: medications, mom & dad’s wedding rings on the chain, a small baggie of my parents’ ashes, bandana, positivity a day calendar pages



What I Didn’t Use:

  • Anti-microbial pad for wiping pee (I forgot I had this)
  • Tinklebell female urination device (didn’t bother using it as I lost all sense of decency quickly, I could have saved room in my pack without this)
  • Bug spray
  • Sunscreen (didn’t use after the first day)

What I would have brought if I did it over again:

  • Whole roll of leukotape as I ran out of the small amount I brought.
  • A very lightweight change of clothes, like a tanktop and shorts. Then I could have laundered my clothes
  • Baby wipes. I acquired some from Oak several days into the event, but I should have had them from the start and not had to wipe with leaves or look for scraps of fabric and paper on the side of the highway (don’t judge)
  • Tums or some type of heartburn relief. I was plagued by heartburn after the first few days and it got pretty unbearable at times. Once Oak gave me a chewable tablet for it, but I should have brought my own.


Background

For those unaware, the Last Annual Vol State is a 314-mile road race (or journey run) that starts in Dorena Landing, MO and ends in Castle Rock Georgia, where the bulk of the race (over 300 miles) follows highways and rural roads in Tennessee. There are two divisions that one can enter: crewed and screwed. Crewed people get themselves to the start, have a team supporting them through their journey, and the luxury of a chair at their fingertips. The screwed runners though? They take an 8hr bus ride from the finish of the race to the start of the race the day before. We carry all of our supplies we need for the entire journey on our backs and acquire all of our food and water needs from stores and glorious road angels.

Training

I have followed the race for many years, but never thought I would be capable of doing it. It seemed out of reach and I was content following like everyone else. After succumbing to peer pressure from some friends, I signed up for the event. I didn’t get in and was kind of relieved, but a friend told me to train like I was getting in because the wait list would move. Sure enough, I got called up at the end of December and knew it would be my big event of the year. I told my coach (Annie Weiss) and I knew she’d have my back with giving me the best training to make this thing happen!

In order to train for the time on the roads, I signed up for several road events. The first was in March: 100ks of Convenience in the Quad Cities. In that race, you are given a map and set of directions the night before as well as a gift card. You have to navigate 20-mile loops and hit 5 convenience stores on the way, using the gift card to buy something at each of them and turn in the receipts at the end of each loop. Despite it being super cold (in the 20s and 30s for this poor Florida girl!!!), I had an amazing time and bought a potato during each loop because #TeamPotato



The next event was at the end of April: The Great Southern Endurance Run. That race consists of navigating around Atlanta, starting on top of Kennesaw Mountain in Marietta and finishing with a climb and descent on Stone Mountain. I figured this would be good training for roads, navigation, and climbing hills and a mountain.



Finally, my last big race leading in to Vol State was the Keys 100. That race would give me time on roads, more interaction with traffic on the road shoulders, heat, and humidity. I had a lot of foot problems because I did not pre-tape my feet or take care of my feet early enough. I ended up walking in the last 55ish miles. That was a very valuable lesson. But hey – good walking practice!

I wanted to do the Miami 50/50 in June which is a road race down in Miami that is essentially a tour of all of the neighborhoods and you don’t know the route until each of the checkpoints, but the timing didn’t quite work out for me.

I also did several long runs in the heat of the day that utilized road shoulders and were basically LAVS lite. There was one run where I stopped at a Dollar General to grab a bomb pop when it was 113℉ and the run ended with a torrential downpour that caused flooding along the way (one of the worst storms my city saw in June).

Pre-Race

The festivities start at the second-to-last supper at a Chinese Buffet in Kimball, TN – this takes place on a Tuesday, the race starts on Thursday. This gives runners a chance to meet up with old friends and make new ones. We also purchase our jackets (that are embroidered with our finish times) and get our race t-shirts.



The next day everyone drives up to Castle Rock to park their cars and board the busses. As mentioned previously, the busses drive the route in reverse and veterans point out various stops along the way. One important bit of advice I got was to bring throw away clothes. You don’t want to spend an entire day and night in the clothes you plan to wear for the next how many ever days. I packed my rattiest underpants, bra, a shirt I was going to throw away, and some of my husband’s shorts he hadn’t gotten around to getting rid of.




Near the halfway point, we stopped for a nice catered lunch and I got a photo with Laz. I wish I had gotten a photo with Carl as well, but didn’t get the chance.

Once you arrive in Union City, TN the busses stop at hotels and you are assigned a roommate. You can also request a roommate in advance, but I didn’t and lucked out by rooming with a friend of a friend from Texas, so that was cool! An hour later we were bussed to The Last Supper, again at a Chinese buffet as they were the only restaurant in town that could accommodate 125ish people. Laz and Carl went over the rules and some guidelines for the race. This year would be a bit different as you approached the finish. In years past, runners were instructed to call or text Carl when they reached the Blue Bridge (approx. 13 miles from the finish), but this year they were trying out using trackers that would alert them to when finishers approached The Rock so they wouldn’t have to spend so much time waiting.


Note: I am breaking my days up into 24-hour periods. Each day is about 7am-7am since time has trouble existing normally out there.

Angel Station Note: I didn’t take photos of many of the angel stations as they can change each year, some angels go over and above to where the RDs may ask them to scale back in the future, and I don’t want to ruin the magic a runner experiences when they come across one.


Day 1

The morning started bright and early with a shower (my last as a civilized human) and taping my feet. About halfway through taping my feet, I ran out of leukotape and switched to the KT tape I had. I also smeared a bunch of desitin on my feet as I know several people who swear by it. We boarded the busses yet again and drove to the ferry in Hickman, KY. After a nice ferry ride to Dorena Landing, MO we waited for Laz to light the ceremonial starting cigarette and then we were off!! To the ferry that was 50’ away. Another nice ferry ride back to Kentucky before we started running and walking.



To say I started the race a bit too aggressively is an understatement. I was feeling really good, the weather was cool, and my usual MO is to run while the running is good (a requirement in Florida summers because the weather is guaranteed to get death hot by 9am). This year there would be a slightly different route in the beginning that took us up some stairs to the Fulton County Courthouse. I felt woefully out of shape. It was the very beginning of the race and I then contemplated how I was going to do this if I couldn’t go up these dang steps. Though I later read that everyone huffed and puffed up these things, so I didn’t feel so bad.


Less than a mile into the run we started to see and smell roadkill. This is a constant throughout the race. Be prepared to see tons of dead armadillos, turtles, raccoons, etc. Three miles into the run I saw a dead hawk that was pretty far along in decomp and the skull looked almost clean. I collect skulls of creatures once they’ve been cleaned up by nature and it took every fiber of my being not to scoop this one up because I knew it would be stupid to carry it for 311 miles.

I mentioned this to another runner, Heather, and 30 miles later I saw her again and she said, “Every time I see roadkill I think of you.” A very sweet sentiment I will treasure. Also, to be fair I will always associate her with a banana. She carried a banana in her hand for at least 40+ miles; she named him Antonio Banana.

At the Casey’s convenience store [mi 15], a few locals asked what we were doing. I told them about the event and they asked what the cause was. I told them we were raising awareness for Stupidity, which was true. We were making a lot of people aware that we were stupid.

 The beginning miles were dotted with coolers of drinks for the Vol State Runners. This would change as the event went on, by the halfway point and beyond there would be coolers for the Vol State Walkers. At mile 20 Carl and Laz were writing down the times that we came in. I came in for 20 miles at just over 5 hours. Fuck. Bad Shae. I resolved that I would only walk for the rest of the day unless it was a downhill. Mile 20 is also Stinky Bridge, which was not stinky this year because the meat processing plant was not running that day. In the beginning I felt like I got robbed of a really weird experience, but hours of nasty smelling chicken trucks outside of Shelbyville over 100+ miles later made up for it.

I got to the town of Martin [mi 31] at the hottest point of the day and decided I would get a real, sit down lunch (I planned to have at least one real meal a day). I saw a place called The Grind that was barely off course that had killer looking milkshakes. I got a smores milkshake that had an ice cream sandwich on top of it and they roasted the marshmallows tableside. I also got some tots and probably stayed in the restaurant an hour and a half before I got restless and decided to keep going.

My first cry of the race happened as I was coming into Dresden [mi 39]; it was such a cute little town and I felt so grateful to be there. I also had really good bathroom luck that first day, every time I had to go there was a port-a-potty or I was at a place with a restroom (restaurant, convenience store, etc). This is likely why I didn’t use my tinklebelle; I had gone feral by the time my bathroom luck ran out.

 


It started to get dark so I pulled out my headlamp and it didn’t turn on. As far as I can tell, the headlamp got turned on in my pack at some point and the batteries ran out. I was miles and miles from a store and by the time I got to a store, they were closed. It was after this point that I always took the battery pack out of the headlamp to keep it from happening again because I don’t do well with the dark.

One of my goals for the first 24 hours was to make it to the Gleason Fire Station [mi 48]. This is one of the famed stops along the route that has A/C, cots, air mattresses, tons of food, and showers. I’d originally planned to get there in the wee hours or as early as 12:30am, but I rolled in there at 9:30pm, way ahead of my projections. Bad Shae. I get the sleepies really bad, so I knew I wasn’t going to be like many of my fellow Vol Staters and turn nocturnal. I’m early to bed, early to rise and those night hours are for the birds. I need light even if it is death hot.

A cot opened up just as soon as I got there, a kind woman gave me pizza (!!!), and around 11pm I finally fell asleep. I woke at 2:30am, looked around, and who did I see? Oak! I walked over and saw that he, Tin, and Greg were getting ready to leave and I asked if I could join. We walked under some gorgeous stars and I was feeling jazzed up, so after a few miles with them I went off at my own pace.

 

 




Day 2

After the morning check-in (where I’d accumulated 64 miles over the last 24 hours), I decided to stop at a diner on the route. I saw on the spreadsheet that Oak and Greg were just a few miles behind me and it wasn’t too long until they showed up and ordered some food as did Bill & Schuyler, an awesome father and daughter from NY. We ate the mediocre diner fare and continued on our way. A few miles later there was an angel station with three chairs and a cooler under some trees. All of a sudden Oak, who had been telling Greg he had an iron stomach, paused mid-sentence to stand up and projectile vomit. I don’t know what it is about me, but puking makes me laugh really, really hard. So there I am busting a gut, Oak is puking up a clementine and eggs, and Greg is looking on in surprise. I managed to snap a pic right as he finished puking and he was kind enough to pose with his puke before he cleaned up the area.

 





“If you masticate your food more than three times, you’re just playing with it.” – Greg
 The day continued, it was a warm one and several of us went through various struggle points that day. It was decided that it would be nice to check in to a motel in Parkers Crossroads [mi 82], so I picked up a clay mask at Dollar General to pretend to be a human as I relaxed in the room. I was told to get in the shower with my clothes on, wash and wring them out, and then wash my body. It was weird and I would not do it again. We got sometime there prior to the 7:30pm check-in and I left around 12:30am As I was leaving, I noticed two other Vol Staters coming up: Penny, my roomie from Union City, and another gentleman who I forget the name of. She said she had a room reserved, but the guy didn’t, so I handed him my hotel key card and went on my way.

I went through Lexington [mi 90] in the wee hours of the night and had my first uncomfortable experience. As I was going along the road, a red truck slowed in the street and a couple guys in their early twenties asked if I wanted a ride. I said no and kept going, but got out my pepperspray to feel more secure. About five minutes later the same red truck passed by again. Another five minutes and it passed by a third time. I didn’t breathe easy until I was out of Lexington.

As I leaving town I realized I was feeling yucky and weak and I couldn’t make sense of feeling ravenous even though I was eating a lot. My mind flashed back to a story Oak told me about his time on the Caminho da Fé in Brazil and how he yelled at Hunter because he needed protein, not more carbs. I realized I hadn’t been balanced in my macronutrients and my body was suffering for it. I even remembered that I read in other race reports and articles that protein is essential over that long of an event to avoid muscle breakdown. I resolved to get some protein ASAP.

Day 3

As luck would have it, I was coming up on Fishers Grocery [mi 99]. The lights were off, but I knew they were opening soon, so I went to wait outside. The guys inside let me come in early and I picked up a sausage biscuit, chocolate milk, and a coffee. It was heavenly. Again, I set back out and found an angel station not too far down the road that had a cooler full of CHEESE. Omg cheese. I had some havarti, gouda, and cheddar. Heaven! They also had little cups of pasta salad that I heard people praising.

 

Going into Parsons [mi 107] at 9am I knew I wanted another real, hearty meal and settled on stopping at…Hardee’s. I’d never been to one despite driving by one to work every single day, so I went in, ordered a chicken biscuit sandwich, a coffee, and some hashbrowns. Perfection. Despite being full from the meal at Hardee’s, I saw a Sav-a-lot on the other side of the road and had to go. I told myself that for this event I would make it a point to eat at least one fresh thing per day, even if it was the grossest looking banana at the convenience store. I got a pack of blueberries and was very happy for them. While in there, I talked to a woman, I think in her 20s, who said she is local and follows the race every year. So cool!

It was already going to be pretty hot that day and I saw a woman pulled over giving a guy, Joey, some water. She asked me if I wanted some water, I immediately asked if she was crewing him, she wasn’t, she was purely a road angel (in the first day several crews tried to offer me things and I had to let them know I wasn’t crewed and their help would change my status). I took a bottle of water and she gave out some packets of Trail Toes and I started going down the hill. At the base of the hill I saw two people tearing into a bag of ice in front of a convenience store and the man beckoned me over. They had purchased a bag of ice and wouldn’t be able to use the whole thing, so I added a bunch of ice to my bladder. I later described the interaction to Oak and Greg as such:

You know in a zombie movie when the zombies fall upon their prey and beginning ripping at their abdomen and pulling out their innards with greedy claws? It was that scene, but with a bag of ice. When the other shuffling zombies offered the ice, of course I’d get my own claws into those glorious, cold innards.

That was where I met Kim and Jun. Jun (and Joey), would be part of the “pod” of people that I saw regularly as people leap frogged and navigated their way through Tennessee. As I crossed the Tennessee River [mi 112], Jun took my photo and I took his.



We walked together until we reached an angel station many, many miles down the road. We actually stopped to sit on a rock in the shade because it was so hot and hard to keep moving with the sun beating down on you. Not too long after we got there, Joey showed up and rolled around on the ground with the sweet dog that was there. Later I found out that the dog didn’t even live there. It was just hanging out because people kept showing up and giving it attention.

I got a text around 3pm from Oak that he and Greg were checked into a motel in Linden [mi 125], there was an angel station at the town’s welcome center, and they were going to go have Mexican food. I told him I was a few miles from Linden, so he said they would wait for me to get there. We had a ginormous amount of food and a downpour started while we were there. It dissipated by the time we were finished and we walked back to Linden. I decided to get a room at the hotel as well, but the inn was full. Oh well, I knew the welcome center had some mats in it, so I figured I would get a little nap there.

Unfortunately, I was absolutely wired and couldn’t sleep. It probably didn’t help that the people at the welcome center had a lively conversation going that I felt compelled to listen to and join in. I spent three hours there twiddling my thumbs trying to rest, but on the plus side I did get to hear one of the greatest things ever regarding sleeping next to the road or in random places:

“If I’m laying down and my shoes are off, I’m fine. Let me sleep. If I’m laying down and my shoes are on, call 911.” – Ray Krolewicz

I left the welcome center at 8:30pm and hit the road again. By midnight the sleepies were hitting HARD. All I wanted was to curl up and take a big old nap, but I was on a hilly, winding road with no shoulder, and I wasn’t about to sleep in a ditch full of who knows what. All of a sudden there was a long stone bench next to a gorgeous lake. It was at least 10’ long and it looked like a good chance for a short nap. It did the trick and I probably had a 15-minute boost that could get me going for another stretch.

 


Out of nowhere I found a sleep oasis [mi 137]. There were several long chairs with cushions under a car port and it was perfect for sleeping. I was alone when I got there, but when I got up at 5am Oak and Greg had just rolled in and Ray, Jun, and maybe someone else were also sleeping there. I headed out into the early morning hours with them.

 



Day 4

We got to Hohenwald [mi 144] near check-in time and I told Oak and Greg that I was going to go to Hardee’s for breakfast, refill my water, and change into my day shirt. Greg decided to go on but Oak elected to come with me as he was having some calf and muscle issues so he wanted to stretch and ice it for a little while. I got the chicken biscuit, hashbrown rounds, and some coke; Oak got a strawberry milkshake and a coffee cup full of pickle juice (trying to solve the calf issue). I cannot commend the Hardee’s staff enough for being so nice and treating our goblin selves as real people.  


We didn’t know it at that point, but that was a good day for continuing to renew our faith in humanity. And for some heat death. I was walking and running some downhills and feeling generally miserable; I see Oak behind me about a quarter of a mile and stop to sit on one of the good guard trails. I figured I would rather hang out with him because he’s probably in fantastic spirits and I could use the company. Well, that wasn’t the case. He was really down in the dumps, too and thought I was out there on cloud nine. Thus started our hilarious (in retrospect) sufferfest.

It is a bit of a blur since it was very hot, but here’s how I think it went. First, we passed up the opportunity to rest in the shade underneath the Natchez Trace Parkway and the Fall Hallow Campground [mi 152] didn’t look like they would really like to see our faces, so we continued on. We then passed over several creeks including Little Grinders Creek, Big Swan Creek, Big Swan Creek, and Big Swan Creek. For some reason we were both mad at and amused by the fact that we kept crossing the same damn creek. We also started to scope out the slopes down to the creeks from the road so we could get out of the sun that was beating us down. Around 11am a road angel pulled over and handed us popsicles. We both started crying.

 

There was a sign for the Amber Falls Winery. We had visions of A/C, charcuterie boards, cold water, and wine dancing in our heads. All we needed to do was get to the winery. Well, that didn’t work out. We got to the arrow pointing to it and it was up in the hills on Ridgetop Rd (looking at the map now, it is about 2.5 miles off of the route), so we dropped that idea. Next was a sign for Natchez Hills Winery and our hope alighted again. Luckily though, a road angel station came into view and it was the one of the most beautiful pop up canopies I have ever seen in my life. And who was there? Greg. Just chillin’ with his feet up.

We decided to stay there for a while and get some rest. It was 1:30pm(?) and the heat was picking up, so I didn’t feel bad about not getting miles then. Greg headed out and I wouldn’t see him again until the end. We stayed for several hours and other runners showed up. First was Jun. His feet were in a bad, bad way. He attempted some foot surgery, but it looked like it would only get worse, so Oak patched him up. At that point I believe Joey and Kim came through and Oak fixed her feet as well.



As we are leaving the angel station many, many hours after arriving we finally realize that we are officially half way! Jan pulls up in the Meat Wagon (oh yeah, there’s a meat wagon, it shuttles the folk who DNF to the finish and Jan also checks in on people) to laugh at our celebration and remark that the actual halfway point is painted on the concrete a few miles back and says, “F U LAZ!” We did not notice it. Jan tells us there's a teeny tiny town called Hampshire just a few miles away and that there are several houses that have things for runners. We stopped at one house with popsicles! And then another to chill for a bit and fill up water and charge phones. Prior to the event I joked that much like Western States being called Statesmas, Vol State was also a holiday: LAVS-oween, where you go from place to place dressed up (as a hobo in our case), looking for treats. Hampshire made that a reality.


We continue on down the road, eventually catching up to Joey around 7pm. Oak then helps tape his feet as well and we are off down the road yet again.   

A couple quick asides so I don't forget. Joey had set his pack on the ground while he was working on his feet and as he got it all together, I noticed there was a hubcap on the ground. My brain immediately linked it with him and I almost told him not to leave his hubcap behind, lol.

Second aside - I never knew I would have a preference on what guardrails I liked, but I definitely do now. Over 314 miles I never sat on the "bad" guardrail. Nope. I was too good for that and would only sit on the good one. I made a meme about it as well:



Outside of Columbia [mi 172] I’m starting to struggle hardcore. It is a combo of the sleepies and hunger/bonking. Now that Oak has figured out the muscle issue he was having, he is ready to make a big push as he has now come up with a time goal and I’m ready to let him go off into the race and not hold him back anymore, and we make a weepy call to the TJM bonk line (literally the only bonk I made the whole time). We get into the outskirts of Columbia at 10:30pm and stop at a gas station. Oak grabs stuff and heads out and I spend an hour trying to get the will to drag my ass to the nearest hotel. The hotel is over 6 miles away on the other side of Columbia, so I know I still have so much time to go until I get there and can sleep. I talk to my husband on the phone for a bit and I’m a whiny mess. I spend over an hour just sitting at the store before I finally get on the road; in that time I saw both Joey and Jun go by. Oak texted that part of the city that the route goes through is kind of sketch, so I get my pepperspray at the ready. Luckily, I don’t encounter anything negative, just some rundown looking areas.

After what felt like a million and a half hours (it was actually just over 2), I arrive at the hotel [mi 179]. I’m a shuffling, exhausted zombie at this point. I’m barely coherent but manage to mumble, “I need a room,” and hand him my card and ID. He gives me the room card and lets me know that breakfast starts at 6am. “Pfft,” I think to myself, “I’ll be long gone by then.”

Day 5

I didn’t wake up until 7am. I took my time getting ready since I had to do some re-taping on my feet, had a nice breakfast in the hotel lobby, spoke to another runner who was dropping due to a family emergency, and then stopped at the convenience store to start my happiest day ever.

I have no idea what it was, but I was feeling absolutely zero pain, walking on cloud nine, dancing my dumb self around, and was just a few short miles to the Bench of Despair. That didn’t stop mother nature from calling me, so I grabbed a discarded food wrapper from the side of the highway and ducked into the trees to do my business. I got caught up in some branches and full on bellyflopped onto the ground, but I didn’t let that mess me up (thank goodness the fall happened pre-potty, not post-potty).

All of a sudden I see some red out of the corner of my eye [mi 184]. The Bench of Despair!! I happily trot up to the bench and see Kimberly lying on it and Joey on the ground with his feet up. I sat down at the end and a huge downpour started. I made it just in time! If I had been even 30 seconds later, I would have gotten absolutely drenched from the rain. We wait it out a little bit and then I’m ready to go. Only three more miles until the famed Nutt House!




The Nutt House [mi 187] is a favorite stop for Vol State runners. As I ran up, I saw Oak and Jun hanging out under one of the canopies. Oak apparently had a rough night and had been there for a few hours; he saw where I had checked in and decided to wait until I got there before leaving. I had an amazing burger and maybe stayed for another hour just hanging out and enjoying the calm and happy atmosphere there. I contemplated taking a shower there (they have an outside shower and toilet that they installed specifically for LAVS), but thought that taking two showers two days in a row was a bit excessive. 

We stopped at the Mooresville Market [mi 194] for some lunch, and who shows up but the Meat Wagon people! The way the meat wagon works is that Jan shuttles them along the way and Carl will pick up if there are a bunch of them. The problem is that if one person drops, you really can’t expect one woman to pick them up and take them hundreds of miles to the finish and back again. It just wouldn’t work. So they have a system and if you’re a screwed runner and drop at the wrong time, it may take you multiple days to get back to your car.

 In the meat wagon was my dear friend Steven and I ran and gave him a big old hug when he came in the store. It was awesome to see him and I was sad that his journey had ended so early {mile 107}. Less than two months prior he rolled his ankle and had a grade 2 sprain. He went into the event still healing a very messed up ankle, so it was amazing what he was able to do.




We shared stories from the road with him and his friend Trisha. A lot of the stories were poop stories and I was laughing my head off. I was also leaving desitin butt prints everywhere, which was funny and embarrassing. I experienced chafing from my underpants since maybe day 2 or 3 and at times I was applying destitin every 30-60 minutes to try to keep the chafe pain/discomfort at bay. It was working, so I kept on with it. 

It was this day that I also got really, really sick of eating and drinking. I was 100% over how high maintenance the human body is and I just wanted to keep doing what I was doing and not worry about feeding and watering this stupid meat robot. Either way, I continued along until I caught up with Joey outside of Lewisburg. I am intensely grateful I caught up to him there. I wouldn’t say the town was super sketchy, but I would have gotten my pepperspray out if I had gone through during the night. His phone was on the brink of dying, so I let him use my power bank until he could purchase another. I also needed some more KT tape since I knew I’d need to tape at least once more and I was out of what I brought. We hit up a Walgreens and put our feet up to plan what was next. We both felt good enough to push on and would find somewhere to sleep when we needed it, but wanted to have a real meal first. Mexican again! As we were leaving the restaurant, we saw Jun go into the hotel across the street, where Oak was sleeping as well.  

 


As we were leaving Lewisburg, we stopped at a convenience store that proudly proclaimed it had THE MOST HAIR FOR SALE. Possibly one of the funniest and most unexpected parts of LAVS.


Around midnight I had a slight case of the sleepies and Joey needed to do some foot surgery, so we walked over to a church [mi 208]. It was very gruesome work, he wanted to inject tincture of benzoin directly into his blisters but had no way to do so. Instead he would try to hold open the blister and I poured the benzoin on it. I’d heard that sometimes churches leave a door open, but we weren’t that lucky and instead had to do our best getting comfortable on the very hard concrete. It did not go well. We spent a little time trying to go to sleep, but called it good when my hip could not take it anymore. We kept going and stopped at several driveways along the road looking for one that was good for sleeping or just putting the feet up. I was feeling good, so I told Joey I would go ahead and text him if I saw any angel stations. I found one not too long after [mi 210ish]. They had chairs and a cot and even a real pillow! Whaaaaat! I texted Joey and he showed up shortly after since he couldn’t rest either. I also texted Oak to let him know where it was and sat for a bit charging my phone and power bank since they were nearly dead.

Joey slept on the cot while Oak and I headed out. We approached the Pit Stop Market [mi 214] at 4am thinking it was still closed, but saw people sitting outside. As we came up the ladies there told us to go ahead inside and they would be right in. We went to the bathroom, got some drinks, and ordered some breakfast sandwiches. The woman there told us that the water we got was free since they always provide free water to “the walkers.” This led to both of us tearing up and being grateful of all of the amazing people giving support on this journey. We enjoyed our sammiches and felt so very grateful going into another day on the road.

Come to Vol State and experience pain in the most beautiful places! Here is Oak fixing his feet in front of a multi-million dollar horse farm.


Day 6

That morning the people were kind; the road was not. This stretch of road was part of the route from a farm to a meat processing plant and every few minutes a chicken truck would blow by and hit us with a gust of foul/fowl (heh) smelling air. It was pretty awful. In addition to the smelly trucks, we noticed some rain clouds starting to form and head our way. We got out ponchos out and it sprinkled a bit. We decided to take cover in case there was a larger storm and put our feet up in the entrance way of a Dollar General [mi 219] around 6:30am. Since it didn’t seem like the storm was going to do much more than sprinkle, we got on our way again.

 

Sometimes you accidentally use cigarette butts as a pillow at a dollar general


The sleepies started to hit again, so we planned to get to the nearest hotel and get some rest. The nearest hotel, the Magnolia Hotel in Shelbyville [mi 223], was an absolute shit hole. First of all, we discovered days later that you can pay hourly. This would have been good to know as neither of us were planning on spending an entire day and night there. Instead, like chumps, we paid the whole rate. When I got into my hotel I was fairly grossed out, which is saying something based on how I smelled. There were at least 30 flies buzzing around, the light fixture on the ceiling had only one bulb and it was uncovered in a busted fixture, the bathroom had some verrrrry sketchy pipework to the sink and shower, and there was a big old cigarette burn in one of the sheets all the way down to the mattress (which signifies it was never changed after the burn, gross). I picked the other bed and decided to just deal with it. I did a pretty good bed bug check so at least I could feel secure in that regard. I took a shower but made sure to wear my flip flops in there because there was some grossness near the drain. But hey, a bed and a shower was a big creature comfort and I passed the hell out almost as soon as I shut my eyes.

I woke up around 2pm and asked Oak when he was planning to leave. He said he was going to wait until 4pm and I told him I didn’t want to have that low mileage in the 12-hour period, so I was going to get ready and go. I taped my feet and by the time I set out Oak had left and had met up with Joey and Jun at a Circle K a couple miles down the road.

Joey was still dealing with intense pain from his feet and urged us to go our own pace and not his, so we kept going. As you’re constantly on the edge of insanity, the things that you say and laugh at get super weird. We caught up to Jun and he asked, “Where’s Joey?” Oak replied, “I ate him.” About 10 or so minutes later (or it could have been 5 or 30 or 60, time doesn’t work normally out there), Jun is propelled forward by several toots and says, “It’s from Joey!”

We got into Wartrace [mi 232] and stopped at the first available place, a convenience store with hot food. We spent some time there eating blah fried food, resting our feet, and acting silly. Someone burped and said it was Joey. I laughed so that sparkle water came out of my nose in a very painful fashion. Sorry Joey. As we went through Wartrace we noticed several places to eat that had much, much better food. Dang it. Also, I tried to get a kitty in the town square to love me, but I was unsuccessful. 


Leaving Wartrace, we came upon the section that had the Strolling Jim course (another race by Laz). It started to get dark and I started to get the sleepies again. I also noticed a few spots on my feet that I could tell I was developing or had developed blisters on. I knew that at some point I would have to take care of them, but I was still in a cranky mood because I was sick of eating, but needed to eat. I was also behind on my electrolytes and started peeing way too much. To combat this, I got a Liquid IV powder stick out of my vest to get it into my system. Rather than mixing up a whole drink with it, I decided to dump some power in my mouth, take a sip, and repeat until I had the whole thing. That fixed the pee problem.

At 9:30pm I thought I was seeing things as it looked like there was maybe an angel station up ahead. Oak said it definitely wasn’t driveway lights, it was different. As we got closer, we saw that it was an angel station and a gorgeous one. I believe this was the Bailey House [mi 240]. I took off my left shoe and saw that I had a blister on the left side of my big toe and on my pinky toe. I asked a giant favor of Oak if he would tape them up for me and he showed me a really good technique for the taping, which I definitely plan to use at my next long race. 

When we got in to the angel station he gave a time of 20 minutes to get in and out. I was a big old NOPE on that. After my feet were fixed I said I was going to take a nap on the cot that was there. They had a real blanket and I was feeling so behind on sleep. Despite being tried, I woke up several times due to the pain in my feet. Each time I woke up, I noticed more and more people sleeping in chairs and on the ground under the tent. I remember Tin coming in at one point and saying, “I’ve been hallucinating for hours,” before my brain shut off again. I slept from maybe 10:30pm to about 3am before I decided to get a move-on. By 5:30 am I had 69 miles to go (nice).

 Day 7

I knew that Manchester [mi 249] was in Coffee County and I had resolved on the bus ride that I would get coffee there. I searched on google a few miles out and saw a cute coffee shop that had breakfast that was only a block off the route would be opening close to the time that I would get there. I had to wait a little bit until they opened, but when they did I got an amazing bagel with beyond sausage and cream cheese on top as well as a mocha and a coffee. I sat outside and enjoyed the morning.

One interesting thing of note, from this point forward I started getting treated differently by people. I waved at every car, truck, and semi on the highway that made a motion to get over to be less close to the road shoulder. I said hello to anyone and everyone, really. But that morning as I enjoyed my coffees and bagel? Two women walked into the coffee shop and out purposefully ignoring me. It would happen about 4 more times over the next day and a half. I had turned invisible. Also, I will note that so many people are happy to wave and get away from the shoulder while they’re driving, but I noticed over the journey that the nicer the car, the less likely they are to look at you, move over, or wave at all. It wasn’t everyone in a super nice car, but it was enough to notice the difference.

By 10am I was on my way out of Manchester and sure a storm was about to blow in, so I threw on my poncho and kept moving. I was hit by a giant wave of the sleepies. No ifs, ands, or buts, I had to nap. Just off the road I spied a really nice-looking shade tree and knew it’d be perfect to get under. I would have my poncho cover my body and shoes, so if it did rain, I’d be fine. I’d nap while waiting out the storm. Win win. Despite the loud sounds of the highway, I fell asleep almost instantly.

I was roused awake by a female police officer in an unmarked car and a male officer in a marked car pulled up just after. I was in the middle of sleepily explaining what the event was to her. Also, in my sleepiness I remarked on her braces because I am also and adult brace face and I look back on that interaction and feel so ridiculous for saying that. She said she was worried (I can’t remember if she said she got a call about it) because she saw someone in what looked like a plastic bag on the side of the road. It was unsaid but implied that they thought I was in medical distress or dead.

Given the chance, I would have gone right back to sleep under that tree, but had a feeling they wanted to move me along, so I hit the road again. Another few hours later I hit up a Dollar General to put together some kind of lunch. I ended up with a feast of cheese, a protein drink, cookie dough, a sparkle water, and some chef Boyardee. I ate nearly all of it and hoped that would be enough calories to where I wouldn’t have to think about eating for a while.

The next stretch was fairly brutal. It was the heat of the day, there wasn’t a shade tree in sight, and my feet were mad at me. Oak sent a message that was was an amazing angel station ahead so I knew I just had to make it a couple more hours until I could get a break from the road. I went to a community center just off the road to see if they had a hose bib, but they didn’t and I ran out of water at mile 264 even though I was trying to drink as little water as possible. It was another two miles before I came up on the angel station and when I saw the road angel there, I cried and hugged him. His setup was amazing. I got some good food, cold drinks, and a few hours of sleep.


As I was getting ready to leave, the road angel told me that part of the way up the climb to Monteagle was a metal teepee looking thing and behind it was a pvc pipe spouting water from a natural spring. He said the water was cold, clear, and good to drink. I had fully refilled my water, but I told him I would be on the lookout for it all the same. Luckily, I got to it before it became fully dark. I walked over and stood next to it running my hands in the cool water. I took a couple handfuls of water directly into my mouth and it was glorious. This would have been very welcome many hours earlier and I hoped that some other runners got to take advantage of it.

 




By the time I got to Montagle [mi 274], it was fully dark and I was hungry. I knew that to the right there were some fast food places about half a mile off course, so I decided to follow the directions and turn left to see what I could find. I realized that there was nothing ahead. The only thing coming up that I could get some food was a Dollar Tree and it was closing in less than 10 minutes. I quickly ducked in to get some water, a coke, and food that made up the shittiest “meal” I’d put together so far. I’d hoped to go into a restaurant to change from my day shirt to my evening shirt and wash up in a sink (I’d been envisioning it and hot food for a while). It wasn’t happening, so I decided to try and find a nice place to sit and eat my food.

Instead I found an entrance to a bank which was a perfect place to eat and have a major meltdown. I was mad. Mad at myself, the situation, my husband when he called because I was having a bad time and he was at home with the cats. I was tired again with no place to sleep, I was hungry and eating shit food, my shirt was chafing the hell out of me, I wanted my undercarriage to be dry for once, I wanted my feet to not hurt. I just had a lot going on that I was upset about and it all came flooding out then. I shoved some food down my gullet and continued walking and talked to him for another 30 minutes before I realized I had missed my turn and had to turn around and backtrack until I got back on course.

Back on the road and moving forward, I got to be myself again. Singing stupid songs because I kept getting the most random shit stuck in my head. By the time I hit Tracey City [mi 280] around 11pm I was zonked again and needed sleep. I saw a bench on the porch of a restaurant, but after 15 minutes of trying and failing to get comfortable, I realized it wasn’t happening and had to continue on. Then I found it. The Cadillac of Benches. Clearly sent down from the heavens: a church pew. It was 12’ long, padded and I knew I’d found refuge. I settled in and fell asleep almost immediately. I crashed out for anywhere from 3 to 4 hours and woke up refreshed.


Approximately a half mile from the glorious bench of the gods, two police vehicles pulled in front of and behind me. One of the officers got out and asked me what I was up to. I explained what I was doing. His next question? “Where do you sleep?” As I’m fairly certain they were on their way to bust me for sleeping on the bench I replied something along the lines of, “Oh, all sorts of places. I’ve stayed a couple nights in hotels and people set up chairs and cots in their yard.” He accepted that answer and I power hiked my way out of town.

Day 8

Shortly before dawn I came up on an angel station out of nowhere. It had begun to drizzle a little, so I decided to hunker down for a bit. I knew it would be my final day of Vol State and I really, really wanted to finish in the daylight. That meant sitting under that canopy wouldn’t help me. I set out and started playing the poncho on/poncho off game. It’d do a drizzle for a bit, time would go by and I was sick of being in my poncho with no rain coming down and shortly after it would start up again. By the time I got to the Mountain Mart [mi 291] it was a full on drenched to the bone downpour. I was happy to get out of the rain and have a sausage biscuit with a hot cup of coffee. I assessed my situation. Shoes? Squishy wet. Socks? I needed to wring them out. Spirits? High. I would be finishing today rain or shine.

Two other people and Tin showed up shortly after. While I was in the bathroom drying off my feet and applying desitin to them, the couple left and Tin said he was staying to sleep for an hour. I happily went off back onto the road, poncho on for only a short time before I got to take it off. I’m fairly certain it was at this point that there was a lot of downhill. I ran quite a bit because why not let gravity do its thing? I marveled in the fact that it was my last day and I was running. The body is incredible. I think I could have run a lot more, but the mind was the real limiter.

 Before I knew it, I’d reached the outskirts of Jasper and Mr. Smalling’s [mi 295] angel station. I sat down and talked with him for about 20 minutes. I had reached the point where I realized this adventure was going to be ending soon and I wanted to soak in every second, especially the kindness of everyone who lived along the course. I also mentally struggled with the idea that it was only 20 miles, but at my pace plus the climb up Sand Mountain at the end, I was still looking at another 6-7 hours of effort.


Coming into Kimball I picked up my tracker at the Valley Inn [mi 300], stocked up on food and water at the raceway, and headed out for the last 14 miles of my journey. Getting to the Blue Bridge [mi 303] a few miles later was emotional. I was there. I was so far away. Nothing to do but keep on moving forward. This is when the heat got turned up a notch. A mile and a half after the bridge, I saw a Dollar General and decided to go grab an ice cream or a popsicle. Ann was there also in the ice cream cooler doing the same thing. I sat in the shade and enjoyed my bomb pop. Again, soaking in this ridiculous thing I was doing. A woman who worked there was moving some of the lawn chairs out of the sun and into the shade and asked me if I wanted to take one off the stack so I could sit down. This may not sound like a huge deal, but it really was and it meant a lot.




With nothing to do but get up and go, I started again and kept thinking that my turn to go down into Alabama would be arriving any moment now. I checked my directions again because I had heard rumblings from the RDs online that people were doing all sorts of weird stuff between the Valley Inn and The Rock. I didn’t want to be another one of the people that went off course while they laughed at my little tracker node. Despite going at what I thought was a good pace, the distance to the turn wouldn’t budge. I felt like I was in New Hope forever.

 The turn finally decided to make an appearance and not too long after I had crossed into Alabama. I think the last 10 miles was all climbing, but someone can correct me. Up and up and up. The heat was really cooking now and I was immensely relieved to see a pack of water sitting on the side of the road. I grabbed a bottle and thirstily drank it. I was conserving my water because I knew it was still a ways up, so the surprise water was great. A few miles later there was another case of water that I took one from and sat in the shade of a tree and enjoyed it. Closer and closer!

I made the turn to Castle Rock Road and did not remember how absolutely horrible that road was. It was the most beatup stretch of pavement that I’ve ever seen. Then, after another hill I saw it! The place where I left my car just over a week ago! I saw the first teaser sign telling it me it was a mile to the finish (I’d read enough race reports to know that I had to just ignore every sign until I actually saw the rock). A short climb and several more signs had me grinning because I knew the finish really would be coming up soon.




All of a sudden I came through a clearing and there it was! The Rock! I trotted over to it and gave it a full on smooch, ending up with some dirt and debris in my mouth. The sweet taste of the finish was very similar to dirt.

 

7 days, 9 hours, 11 minutes, and 17 seconds


I walked over to where Laz, Carl, and some others that were sitting around. Laz gave me my sticker, patch, and wooden “metal” while heckling me about the desitin, mainly that its use is a big old joke the vets play on the rookies, lol. Sorry, but I will forever be like the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Instead of the windex he swears by to cure all ailments, my new all-purpose tool is desitin. 


I hung out for a bit longer until the next finisher came in and a short time later Jan showed up and drove us down the mountain to the Valley Inn. Jan was nice enough to stop by my car so I could grab some clothes. I checked into a room, got a shower, and then put on DRY CLOTHES. Clothes! That were dry! And not wet! Dry underpants!! Is there anything more beautiful than that??

With the Walmart only a half a mile away, I left the hotel to walk over and who did I see? Joey! He had just picked up his tracker and was about to make the final push after a short stop at McDonalds, I wish him well and continued on to the store. The sky opened up at that point, so I took my time shopping; grabbed some popcorn, a tiny bottle of prosecco, mini potatoes, and various other snacks and drinks. I decided to wait out the rain, because what else was I going to do?

When it let up from the torrential downpour into a normal drizzle, I figured I may as well go because who knows how long it would be raining for. Unfortunately, I was wearing my crocs and was trying to navigate around the extremely flooded sections. I got to a really big flood spot and my choice was to go back the way I came and add more time walking in the rain or walk through the 8’ section that had 4” of water. All of a sudden, a gentleman pulled up and asked if I wanted a ride. I graciously accepted and got in. I know what you’re thinking, “SHAE, YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU GETTING IN A STRANGER’S CAR?!?!?!?!?!”

I’d already been through a lot and funnily enough in the late hours in sketchy places I mused about how nice it would be to be kidnapped. I’d be off my feet in the A/C and the person would have to feed me to keep me alive for ransom purposes. Dark Vol State humor, I know. Anyway, I thanked him profusely and it was yet another example of the awesome kindness I’d experienced all throughout the race. My night ended sharing race stories and chatting with Peter, Oak, Tin, Kim, Jan, BJ, and Greg. 


 

MY ADVICE:

  • Note: these were written from the perspective of someone on the journey that just wanted to finish. I had no time goal or expectation of finishing on a certain day.
  • If your feet are aching and you’re stopped anywhere for more than 10 minutes, take your shoes off. It is amazingly refreshing and your feet hurt less after you’ve had them off even for a small length of time. It takes a minute to take shoes off and put them back on, plus you’re sitting anyway.
  • Always sign the guestbook! Many road angel stations will have a notebook for runners to sign and write a note. It’s 30 seconds out of this incredible journey and that is something valuable that you can do for them.
  • Talk to the road angels, store clerks, the locals, and your fellow runners. I think I spent the majority of my time talking to people. I never wanted to be a hurry where I couldn’t take the time out of my day to chat with someone for even as little as 10 minutes. People are displaying an immense kindness out there and this is one small way to give back.
  • Take pictures. In the good moments. In the bad moments. I wish I had some more pictures and video of when I felt like shit. 


Videos! I was planning on making a whole giant video with narration, photos, and my random vlogs, but I realize I do not have the patience for it, so here are all of the vlogs together - 



Postscript: 
While I insisted I was a one and done, that clearly isn't the case. In the days that followed this event, I missed the road so much. I missed the absolute carefree, but also constant thought that went into making sure I continued. I have signed up for the Last Annual Heart of the South (HOTS), which is similar to LAVS, but longer and you don't know the route until you get there. I also put my name in for LAVS again, because I'm dumb and I would like to do the double of both HOTS and LAVS, but we will see how that works out. 


Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Keys 100 Race Report

 

Note: I am writing this race report approximately 3 months after finishing the race, but I wanted to capture my experience before I forget the pain and triumph. I think I've forgotten some particulars, but this is a good approximation of events.

 Training

I hate when people call a race a “training run” so I will not do that, but this race was a specific part of my build up for my upcoming journey run at The Last Annual Vol State. 100ks of Convenience included navigation, roads, and convenience store stops, GSER 100k had roads, heavy navigation, and plenty of hills with a monster climb at the end, and the Keys would be my prime time to run on road shoulders of heavily trafficked roads as well as gear test in the high heat and humidity. 

Part of my preparation for Keys included plenty of heat training. I often checked the weather for the Keys and most of the time it was cooler there than where I live. Central Florida does not have the benefit of an ocean breeze, so typically our temperatures are hotter and more chokingly humid than down south, so it was nice to know that the weather would never be as bad as what I was running in regularly. I ran outside at the hottest parts of the day and created my own homemade sauna, aka a space heater in my shed where I spent an hour doing yoga and sitting around in 105-110 heat. My coach, Ani Weiss also knows how to build my fitness without wrecking me and I felt very physically prepared going into this race. 

My husband Tom would also be joining me for the duration of the race. We previously ran the entirety of the Badger 100 in 2021 together. It worked well because I slow him down in the first half and he makes me run more in the second half. We were hoping for a similar result this time. 


Pre-Race

One annoying thing about the Keys 100 is that you now have to have a crew (pre-covid there were some aid stations and water drops and runners could visit stores for necessary items but that has gone the way of the dodo). I’m not a huge fan of having a crew because I get crew guilt (more on that later), but needs must. I put out the call to my group of friends that I was looking for and my friend Cheryl agreed and roped her boyfriend Eric to come down and crew. In exchange they would get…uhhhh, a flight and a night in Key West they couldn’t enjoy because they were exhausted from crewing? After picking them up from the Miami airport Thursday night, we made the drive to Key Largo on Friday. 

The race had a livestream of the pre-race panel and since we weren’t going to make it in time, we listened in the car. The instant Bob Becker told a story of a runner who died the previous year a few days after the race because of an electrolyte imbalance we turned off the livestream. We did not need that weighing heavily on our minds right before we took on the challenge.

The day before the race was not ideal as I typically aim to have a very chill day before a race, but due to some issues with school stuff, I ended up staying up later than I wanted to and stressing about that. The morning of the race I briefly contemplated taping my feet, but since I’d had zero issues in my last two races, I figured I would be fine (narrator: it was not).

The whole gang!

Mile 0 to Mile 20

The race starts in the parking lot of Diver’s Direct in Key Largo and it is quite chaotic. Waves of runners take off every three minutes and we had a 5:51am start time which is based on the order in which people register. The elites get the 5:30am start time, which means I never ever had a chance of seeing them. The line for the portapotties was long and I ran up to the start line, still trying to pull up my pants to where they needed to be, as Bob Becker told us, “Go!”

In addition to the 100-mile runners, the race also has relay runners. We discovered pretty early on that it is very easy to get caught up in a relay runner’s pace. I kept looking at my watch knowing that we had to throttle back our speed or risk burning out too early. The weather wasn’t too hot, but the humidity was definitely there. 

As a result, I ended up with squishy shoes. I saw other squishy shoe prints in front of me so I knew I wasn’t the only one dealing with the issue. Tom and I were running a nice pace and I didn’t want to break up the flow by changing my socks so early into the race. RED ALERT, RED ALERT, THIS IS A BAD IDEA. I will also straight up say that for the past two 100k races I’d done, I did zero pre-taping, just globbed on some trail toes and I was fine.

The smart things to do: pre-tape known problem areas, dry my feet and apply more lube, and change socks and/or shoes. What did I do? Nothing. Shae, you absolute turd, you know better.





  

Mile 20 to Mile 40

Around this point Tom started feeling off. He sometimes struggles with running in the heat. Because of that, we started walking more. In the past walking has always done me in at races. Feet move differently in shoes and blisters pop up in ways you don’t experience while running. My last two races had almost all running and minimal walking, so I did not factor in how much walking, especially in still squishy shoes, would impact my feet. 

As the day got warmer, Tom began to suffer more. He had the mental will to continue, but his body said no. Without going into it, it shut him down and there was nothing he could do. Eric and Cheryl arrived to pick him up and I continued on. 

At that point I had to pee, but there was no portapotty; using the bathroom anywhere other than a portapotty or approved store is strictly prohibited and will result in an immediate DQ. I figured there would be one after the bridge I was going over, so I looked forward to that short crossing.

What I didn’t know was that I had started Long Key Bridge, the second longest bridge in the Florida Keys. Long Key Bridge is nearly 2.5 miles long. I tried to pick up my running pace, but at times I was slowed to a walk or had to stand still so I didn’t pee my pants. In my opinion, this was the longest bridge during the Keys. It is one of the few pedestrian-only bridges, so it was filled with groups fishing off the various outcroppings. There were also several garbage cans along the bridge and I fantasized about hopping inside one and peeing. I stopped drinking water in hopes that it would make me have to pee less.

I also spotted this bucket truck, which was literally parked IN THE OCEAN and it had a portapotty next to it. I was mad at bucket trucks parked in the ocean because they could go to the bathroom and I couldn't.


Hard to see, but the portapotty is near the front of the truck

As I said before, the bridge is only 2.5 miles, but you could have fooled me. It felt like ten miles. When I finally saw an end to the bridge, I desperately started looking for a portapotty. There was none to be found. I asked my crew and they told me there was one a few miles up. Nope. I was going to go. I got into the car, closed the door, and did my best to piss into a Gatorade bottle (as a woman, it is very, very difficult especially crouched on the floor of the front passenger seat). Afterwards I felt a million times better, but also bad because now my crew had to be in a pee car, but at least it wasn’t in public? I wiped the floor of the vehicle the best I could, but I’m pretty sure they had to go back in with some paper towels and wet wipes. 


Mile 40 to Mile 60

Five(ish) miles after the end of Long Key Bridge was the infamous Hell’s Tunnel. It is said to be one of the hottest parts of the course as most people arrive in the peak heat of the day and it has foliage on both sides of the bike path, so there’s no breeze at all. I asked for and received an ice bandana, but having it on my back ended up being too cold, so I swung it around to my front for a bit. I had to alternate because it was just too cold/painful to have ice that close to my chest or back. This was the first time I’d ever used ice in a race and it solidified I didn’t like it. I had snug a few stray cubes into the pocket on the back of my shirt, but they melted fast or I removed them after a little while.

At some point in the middle(?) of Hell’s Tunnel, I stopped to do some foot repair. My feet were megafucked. The heel blisters and ball of the foot blisters were going to be a problem. The toes hadn’t yet posed a problem, but they were on the verge of doing so. It was then that I accepted that I’d be walking the vast majority of the race and that was okay. It was going to hurt, but I would get it done.

 



I can’t remember exactly where, but between 40 and 50, I started feeling mega crew guilt. We all know that ultrarunning is a very selfish sport and that it takes up a lot of time. I’ve dealt with really bad crew guilt before and it was one of the main reasons I DNF’d a “virtual” 100 miler a few years ago. I feel bad for the people sacrificing their time and attending to dumb little me. I came into the crew stop, sat on a rock and told Eric and Cheryl that I was having a real bad time mentally. I felt bad for them having to shuttle from spot to spot to give me water and food. I felt bad for Tom for sitting in the car recovering from heat issues. I felt bad because I knew that I couldn’t quit because where would we even stay that night?

Funny enough, that was one of the main things that kept me going. Especially when it got really late. There was nowhere for us to go. It was hard enough finding a hotel for the night after the race, I couldn’t imagine how difficult finding a room for that night would be or how exorbitant the price would be. Some of the things I focused on were: you need to make it through this so you can make it through Vol State, there’s nowhere else to go tonight so you might as well keep going all the way to Key West, you paid waaaaaaaayyyy too much for this race to not get that pretty buckle. Very silly reasons for sure, but they kept me going. Getting ahead of myself though – back to the pit of despair.

Around mile 47ish, I realized that I would be arriving to Seven Mile Bridge about 45 minutes after the time I wanted and I got really bummed. I wanted to get there and be mid-bridge as the sun was setting, but there is no stopping the passage of time, so it was going to be dusk and then dark on the bridge. Knowing there was a McDonald’s in Marathon, I texted my crew to ask if they could get me fries. When I got to the Marathon Garden Club (the location of the 50 mile start), the fries were gloriously hot, fresh, and life affirming. 



It was maybe a mile and a half onto the bridge that the sleepies started to hit. It was one hell of an awful place for that to happen, too. You’d think with the cars flying by going 60+ mph while you’re on a narrow shoulder would wake a person up, that was not the case for me. Darkness starts, I get sleepy. Them’s the rules.

 

The beginning of Seven Mile Bridge

Mile 60 to Mile 80

As I came into Big Pine Key I saw my very first Key Deer. Instant tears! They are a very special kind of deer that only live in the Keys. They are small, some compare their size to a dog but they’re a little bit taller than that. I first learned about the key deer while listening to books from Carl Hiassen, which a friend had recommended. Listening to his books about the wild characters in the Keys got me really excited for this race, and the deer were something I really wanted to see.




Since Cheryl told me that she needed 14ish miles that weekend, I asked if she wanted to pace at the next crew point. That would give her time to get into running gear and mentally prepare herself to endure my company. At the next crew point as I drank a red bull and ate some room temp ramen noodles (noodles soften with water, no need to be fancy and try to acquire warm water in the middle of the night), I warned Cheryl again that there would be very little, if any, running, but she agreed to spend the time with me on the road. We saw a few more adorable deer and I kept up a litany of really dumb stories from my tired but caffeinated brain. We may have done a little bit of run/walk, but I can’t remember. Once she was done with her miles, I started out again on my own.

Late night snack of champions!

I was feeling pretty raw in my undercarriage area and going to the portapotty in the parking lot around mile 75 I discovered something was bleeding, but I wasn’t sure what. Lady zone, thighs, bhole. Take your pick. Something down there had a lot more chafe than I would have liked, so I threw some more trail toes on and shrugged my shoulders. Not much to do but endure it.

I'm genuinely not sure if I felt as rough as I looked there or not.
The sleepies in the night are a killer for me


Mile 80 to the Finish Line and Beyond

The next several bridges and miles are a bit of a blur. Everything looks the same during the night and I knew I was going over absolutely gorgeous places that I didn’t get to see at all. Darn me for not being one of the super speedy runners that gets to see all the pretty stuff during the best part of the day. Oh well, I got to see a very nice sunrise and got the happiness that comes with finally being able to take off your headlamp.


With 10 miles to go and the heat already starting up for the day, I went into my very first store of the race. It was a Circle K and I wandered around for a bit to search out the best breakfast to have; I made sure to stop in the beer fridge and enjoy the chilled air for a minute. I found a sammich and an icee and put my feet up to eat them next to the car. This is one of the many stops I made that were way too long. If I had been crewing me, I would have kicked myself out much sooner every single time I stopped at the crew car. Buuuuut, I knew that my crew was very nice and they didn’t have the heart to kick me out really fast, so I took full advantage of all of the rest time they allowed me.


I met up with the crew at Dion’s with a little less than five miles to go; Tom was dressed back in running clothes and was ready to go! It reminded me of when he paced me at Long Haul in 2020 when my feet were bad. This time my feet were worse, but I was moving better than I had then. I even ran in teensy little bursts here and there, much less than he wanted, much more than I felt like doing. 


We got to Smather’s Beach and ran along there, hoping and hoping our turn would be coming up quick. Several people who had done the relay or finished the race cheered us on and told us we were close to the finish (not quite the truth, not quite a lie). We hit that final turn and ran through the inflatable arch at the finish where I was presented with a medal and a buckle! It was beautiful! My final finishing time was 29:22:20. It was a long ordeal, over the time I wanted, but it is what it is.


And then all I wanted to do was sit down. Sit down. Right now. The award ceremony for all of the races was happening right then, so the tent was extremely crowded, which did not help the way I was feeling. I went from sitting down to, “I need to lie down NOW.” So there I was, in the sand, holding my buckle, and entirely all of the people around me who seemed to be in great spirits and showered. 


For some reason I was not having it and I wanted to leave. It meant that I totally neglected getting a photo under the finish line with the Mile 0 sign and running into the water at the beach like I had envisioned during the night. Getting into the hotel afterwards was a whole ‘nother cluster that I won’t go into; I should have gotten over myself and stayed at the finish line for a while, but hindsight is 20/20. 


Conclusion

The Keys 100 is absolutely incredible and absolutely awful. Would I do it again? Fuck no. Am I glad I did it? Hell yes. If you’re looking for a good challenge, I highly suggest putting this race on your list.

I think I could have run a lot more, but I didn’t really have the mental will to do so. The thing I always hear and should have said to myself, “If it hurts to walk and it hurts to run, then run.” I’ve beat myself up a lot in the last few months about not running this race more. I definitely could have had a much better finishing time, but I’m actually pretty grateful for the learning experience I did have. I learned that even with blistered, horrible feet I can finish a race and that I am capable of walking it in for 50+ miles. My feet were peeling and still healing going into Vol State, almost two full months later. 

Another part of this race that happened all throughout was talking to people. I enjoy talking to people at races. New people, old friends, whoever. At this race, I found several people who were repeat Keys finishers. I asked every single one WHY. Why would you do this crazy thing again? I got the full gamut of answers – “I don’t know.”  “The finish line is great!” “I really like to suffer.” “I’m very dumb.” 

It’s always interesting how people are drawn to certain events. Like the call of Vol State and Heart of the South. Why are those so interesting to me? Why would I want to do either? Well…I’m dumb. I like to suffer. I don’t know. The finish line is a relief and beautiful. At the time I didn’t understand the repeaters. I do now. They couldn’t ignore the call of the Keys much like I can’t for other events.

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Great Southern Endurance Run DNF

Distance: 100 miles (made it to 58)

Date: Saturday, August 15th

It’s almost two months since the DNF and I’m still processing things. I was very excited going into this – a 100 mile journey through Atlanta starting at Kennesaw Mountain, going through downtown, up Stone Mountain, and then back to Atlanta proper. I knew going into it my feet would pose a problem. I keep learning lessons about how my feet react to walking vs running and I seem to get blisters when I walk more than about 7 miles – running 50 has posed no problems, but walking? Blister factory. I am fairly certain shoes are a big part of it and I also think that strategic taping could also help and that’s something I need to solve before Badger 2021.

Though in all honesty, I did not DNF because of my feet. They may have been cause for me to DNF later, maybe even as soon as 5 or 10 miles down the road from where I stopped, but when I stopped at approximately 58 miles, it was because of my mental state and not because of my feet. They were just really good scapegoats for the mental beating I was giving myself.

I’ve heard many people say that running and ultrarunning are very selfish sports. I agree a million percent and one thing I hate to do more than anything is inconvenience people or ask for help. That event involved both. I somehow got my husband and my dad on board to give up time to travel with me up to Atlanta. The plan was to get in to Atlanta midday, relax, go to sleep early, and then start at 3am on the top of Kennesaw. Only that’s not what happened. There were several wrecks on I-75 and a 6 hour drive turned into an 8.5 hour drive.

At 8pm I was attempting to fall asleep and I got the call from Trena – there were going to be protests at Stone Mountain the next day, which meant the entire area would be closed to visitors. In an attempt to be able to do the whole route, we had to push the entire endeavor from a 3am start to a 9am start so we would go near Stone Mountain when hopefully any violence/protests would be finished. This meant that we would be getting no pre-dawn reprieve from the sun and we would be finishing much later on Sunday than anticipated; both my husband and dad had to be at work on Monday morning so the finishing time was important.

I started with that weighing pretty heavy on my head and it only got heavier and heavier as the day went along. Yes, my feet hurt, my pinky toes turned into giant blisters and burst in my shoes around mile 26 – when you have a group of 4 people you only go as fast as your fastest person and I didn’t want to be the one who held us up with a foot problem so early. Also, we basically didn’t run at all after about mile 10 which stamped my ticket into BlisterLand. Going through areas of downtown Atlanta were cool, I really enjoyed the belt line and all of the art along the way, definitely my favorite section of the run. Despite the blisters, I was in a good mood for the most part.

I think my mental state really started to shift when nighttime fell and I started doing the dreaded ultra math. I kept thinking, “We’ve been at this for XX hours and we still have at least XX hours to go if nothing goes wrong and we don’t slow down (not likely). That’ll have us finishing at XX, which means we still have to drive home and then dad and Tom won’t be able to make it to work tomorrow and I did this and I made them come and I bet they hate me for making them hang out and sleep for an hour at a time in a car on random streets. Why did I do this to them? Why am I such a bad person? How could I be so selfish?”

I felt so damn bad that I was doing this to them and slowly wrecking my feet over the miles. Every single step started to hurt. I think my brain amplified my foot pain to be much more unbearable than it actually was (evidenced by the fact that I ran the next day. Although a month and a half later, my blisters were still healing, so my poor feet definitely did take a beating).

Again, even though I had a physical issue, I stopped because my mental game was weak. I didn’t want it bad enough. I couldn’t stand the idea of inconveniencing my people and making them miss work to crew my dumb ass. They never once complained and only wanted to help me finish, they were in a great mood and were having adventures of their own.

I know some people regret races after they DNF them - I’m two months out and I still think I made the right decision, but I made it for the wrong reasons. I saw what I needed to see on the journey and I had a great adventure. Quitting at 58ish miles is okay with me, but I hate the fact that I quit because my mental game wasn’t strong enough and I was too worried about things outside of my control. We started 6 hours later and I let that screw with my head. Now I know I have a huge, gaping hole in my mental game, and I hate it, but glad to know it’s there so I can remedy it in the future!




My Big Fat Virtual Summer (3 of 3)

Part 3 of the dumb shit I did!


TJM Badger Trail Race Muskie Marathon

Date: Friday, July 17th

I was originally signed up to do the Badger 100, but since the official event was cancelled, I deferred my entry to next year and signed up for the Muskie Marathon instead. I’ve decided that I’m going to do all of the distances at Badger, so I figured I’d start with a marathon so it’s different from my medal from last year (the 50k and 50mi both have the tunnel on the medals). I kind of decided out of nowhere to run this one. I could have given myself another week of training and maybe built up some miles, but I said, “ehhh.” I decided on Wednesday that I was going to run a marathon on Friday and I when I told Tom I don’t think he believed I would actually do a whole marathon out of nowhere, especially given the stupid hot weather.

But I did! I did it as an out and back from the house, so that means you HAVE to finish or you’ll never ever get home, EXCEPT – I didn’t plan it that well so my out was not 13.1 miles, it was only 12ish? My plan was to run to Silver Springs State Park, run around the park a little bit, hopefully see some alligators and monkeys (no dice), and then run back home. It was a HOT day, so by the time I got to about 15 miles, I knew it would be a rough type of finish because it was exposed the whole way. Since I had in the back of my mind that I was going to be doing GSER in a few weeks, I decided to get some good “power hiking” (aka fast walking) training in.

I ended up power hiking the last 10 miles of the marathon, stopping at home at mile 24 to go to the bathroom and grab an electrolyte popsicle before I went out to get it finished up. Good experience and the swag was really nice.


Yeti 24hr Challenge #2

Distance: 50 miles

Date: Friday, July 24th

This was the challenge that broke not just the treadmill, but my spirit/will to live. I also realized during the last 30 minutes of the very last run that I had basically been bonking hard all day long.

I had such a fun time with the first Yeti 24 hour challenge (five miles every four hours for a day, not too bad with 30 miles in all), so I thought adding another 3.5 miles to each run would be just fine. I decided to change it up and instead of doing neighborhood runs, I would do two on trails, two on paved surfaces, and two neighborhood or treadmill runs. It goes without saying that it was brutally hot and humid, but oof, I did not manage myself very well during this whole thing.

I did my first run bright and early Friday morning on the Florida Trail, went home to change and then headed over to Silver Springs State Park (the campground area) for the next run. The trails there are pretty exposed, but I suffered through. I drank a lot of water, but basically felt parched the whole run.

The next one was on the Santos paved trail. Even though it was really hot, my dumb brain thought, “It’s only 8.35 miles, just take a handheld.” Well, that was stupid. I had basically been behind on water all day and then not taking enough for the hottest part of the day just screwed me over. I basically did okay for the first few miles, and then fell apart. This was the story for the rest of the runs.

The fourth run I decided to do at Greenway – I did the 5mi loop and the 5k loop. I also had pizza for dinner prior to the run and I thought it didn’t agree with my stomach, but I think it was more of a revolt in general to the lack of enough nutrition throughout the entire day. Heat saps a lot of energy and I was feeling it.

My fifth run was on the treadmill and was essentially the death knell for it About a mile in to the run I heard a loud CRACK and the belt started running weird. I ended up power hiking the rest of that one on the mostly busted treadmill.

The final one was the wooooorst. So awful. My stomach really rebelled during this one, much more so than the previous ones. I went out into the neighborhood, but had to jump into the bushes a couple of times (thank goodness it was 3am) and realized I would be better off to finish it out on the treadmill where I would be close to a bathroom. Unfortunately, when I got onto the treadmill again, the belt would not stay on track, was going faster than it should have been going, and it was making a horrible sound. I didn’t want to be far from a bathroom, so I switched to doing the last 3.5 miles around the cul de sac. That was misery x10. Every half mile I would switch direction. After one of my bathroom breaks I grabbed a piece of pizza leftover from dinner and a cookie. I ate them while continuing to walk around the cul de sac and within 20 minutes my mood and my outlook on life completely changed. It was then that I realized that I had basically underfueled my entire day and I would have had a much better time of it all if I had done better on eating.

I had about a mile where I felt good and then I was DONE. This was much, much tougher than the other challenge and I definitely underestimated it. I also complicated it by driving to different trailheads which reduced the time I could have been resting and eating.  Would I do this one again? HELL NO.


Troubled Raccoon Racing Scavenger's Hunt

Date: All of August


This was a wild month of challenges that had no specific mileage goals, but required fun tasks to be done such as running in the rain, doing squats, taking pictures of animals, and all sorts of fun things! I had a lot of fun with this challenge and my favorite was my Minnie Mouse Beer Mile. In one week there were prompts to do a beer mile and one to run in costume so I combined them! It was a great time!




Oh noooo, it happened to me

PB&J 15k

Date: Saturday, September 19

Last year my sister Laci signed up for the PB&J 10k and asked if I wanted to join her. I saw that they had a 15k challenge where you do the 10k and then come back to the start line in time for the 5k. It seemed like a neat challenge and my preferred running fuel is pb&j, so I was in! It was a really fun race and when I got the email that they moved it to virtual, I decided to sign up and make my route. 

After the treadmill died after the Yeti challenge, Tom and I decided to get a semi-fancy nordictrack one that had a built in mapping feature that utilizes Google street view, so I decided to run the actual route (plus a little on the end so it'd be 15k). I had a great time and the swag was awesome, I'll definitely be doing it again next year. 



 

My Big Fat Virtual Summer (2 of 3)

This is part 2 of all of the dumb shit I did this summer!


Possum’s Revenge 69mi

Finish Time: 19:32:00

Date: Friday, June 19th

(DNF, Friday June 5th)


This one took two tries, but I got it done! I had long admired the buckle, but thought it would be years before I could work it into my race calendar, but COVID changed that! I signed up for the virtual as soon as it went live and started plotting my route and how I was going to manage it. I did the Sugar Badger 50mi as a training run for this. I did SB50 on the road, but I wanted to do Possum’s Revenge on the trail. One really, really cool thing is that of the trails I run on regularly, if I did an out and back on all of them, it’s 70 miles. So I would be 100% familiar with the trails and what I would need.


Attempt #1

I really hate asking for help, so my plan was to be fully self-supported. I placed a water drop at mile 25 and planned to refill my food at mile 50 (where I parked) before heading out for the last 19 miles. It did not go great. It was an oppressively humid day and at mile 13 I stopped to take off my socks to wring them out. I was soaked from head to toe and didn’t think about bringing a sock change since I didn’t think I would want it until after mile 50.

I got to my turn around point where my water drop was and I had already been running out of water miles before I got to the next water source, so I couldn’t fathom the idea of leaving behind my jug of water after refilling. And it’s exactly where I screwed up – I took the water jug with me. So now I was having to run with a water jug in my hands. By the time it was empty, the damage was done, my running had fallen apart completely, I had pains I’d never felt before (likely from the imbalance of carrying the water) and decided to quit when I was still 3 or so miles from the car so I still had to hobble my way back to it. I was sick of being soaking wet all day and just OVER the whole thing. I went home knowing that if I wanted to finish I would have to ask for help.


Attempt #2:

At the end of my first attempt, I thought I had injured myself, but the next day I was basically fine. It was a relief for sure. I went back and forth on whether I would try again, but when I did, I was prepared. Instead of doing a single water drop and being fully self-supported, I would be partially self-supported with the same water fountains as before and with my truck, but have two crew points in the first 50 miles where there is no water at the trailhead and then pacer help in the last 15 miles.

My brother agreed to meet me at the Pruitt Trailhead, the 25 mile point, with a cooler with cold water, uncrustables, and pedialyte popsicles as well as a full change of clothes. Knowing that I was going to get out of the wet clothing made it much more bearable. I actually beat my brother to the trailhead by about 10 minutes, so I took the time to air out my feet in an attempt to get them dry before wiping them, applying trail toes, and getting changed. The pedialyte pops were the shit! I first heard of them through some ultrarunning friends, and I will use them for hot runs when I can.

I headed on back the way I came from and knew I’d be seeing my brother at the 49th Ave Trailhead (around 35ish miles). Since he had a few hours before seeing me, he went to the grocery store and to grab lunch, so when I saw him I ate a couple of his fries and stole a baggie of frozen strawberries from the giant package he’d purchased. The frozen strawberries were so good and juicy.

I got back to the truck still feeling good and moving pretty well, but as I walked into the bathroom at the trailhead to change my clothes, the weather hit. Not only was it a torrential downpour (the kind that soaks you in two seconds flat and you can’t see more than a couple feet in front of you), the skies opened up with huge cracks of very close lightning. Unfortunately, the rest of the trail was more open than the previous sections. Yes, there are tall trees, but it was going to be a lot of fear. I stayed in the bathroom for about 30 or so minutes trying to figure out my options and looking at the radar.

I decided that instead of being soaking wet, afraid of lightning strikes, and dragging my sister and husband through hours of sogging misery, I would change up the plan and finish my miles on the treadmill in our shed at home. I drove home, changed clothes, socks, got into some road shoes, and set up everything out in the shed. My sister, who was going to pace me, brought a pizza and we happily chatted and ate for about an hour and a half while I walked on the treadmill.

SIDENOTE: #CryClub – so I basically always cry at some point during an ultra. I thought it would be funny if I posted in the TJM Nation facebook group for people to guess what mile I cried at. Well, it happened while we were eating pizza. Laci handed me a slice of pizza, I was hungry, but heat screws with my stomach so I was eating in very slowly and no one brought me a plate. I cried because of that. Mile 54 – cried because I didn’t have a plate for my slice of pizza.

By that point, all I had in me was a walk. Though I think if I was outside I could have motivated myself to run in fits and starts (like from one tree or blaze or the next), but on the dreadmill I was simply slogging through as best I could. I listened to podcasts, watched some shows, and generally suffered until I was done. But then I was DONE and it was great! I was very pumped to earn my lovely buckle!






Troubled Raccoon’s Untrained Ultra Challenge

Distance: 52.7k total (13.1, 15k, 10k, 5k, 1mi)

Dates: July 1 through July 4th

Wednesday 1 mile, Thursday 5k, Friday morning 10k, Friday afternoon 15k, Saturday evening half-marathon

So I had originally planned this to be a big old PR fest and I hoped to smash a couple of my own times on these distances, but the fact of the matter is – the weather was just brutal and I haven’t done speed work in months. I was less than 3 seconds off of my mile time, but all of the other distances I decided to take it easy. I am going to revisit this challenge and/or smashing some PRs next year or during the winter when it is more conducive to running fast.

I like the format of the challenge. All five distances must be done in the span of 5 days or less. Some people chose to do the whole thing in one day, some people spread it out over all five days. You can do it in whatever order you like, too, so there’s so many variations on how to tackle this challenge. I think my most memorable run was my half marathon. I did it on the 4th in the evening after helping Tom complete his Battle Miles virtual race earlier in the day. The weather was gross hot and humid, so I decided to keep it around the 1.8 mile loop around the neighborhood so I could refill my handled with water/electrolytes every loop. It was so rough that that is exactly what I did for the entire half marathon; drinking a full 16oz every 2 miles. The worst parts about that run were that someone threw a firework at me and it was extremely smoky near the end. The best part was that my victory in finishing the challenge was celebrated by everyone in the neighborhood setting of pretty fireworks.




Troubled Raccoon’s 24/7 Challenge

Distance: 24 miles

Dates: Thursday July 9th – Friday July 10th

The 24/7 challenge is to run at least a mile during every hour of the day (24 hours) during the month of July (the 7th month, hence 24/7). Additional challenges were to do it all in the span of a week or a day.

A few weeks before taking this on, I had watched a race play out online that was called the Little Dog, Front Yard Race, and like Big’s Backyard, it is a last person standing style event. Unlike Big’s, which requires participants to go 4.167 miles every hour on the hour, this event was one mile on the hour every hour. I was very intrigued by it and was amazed that the event went on for over 10 days. More of a sleep and self-management challenge than a run challenge for sure. I thought I might be interested in trying something like that in the future, so I figured I would do my 24/7 challenge this way. Some people did the 24/7 challenge where they did two miles with one at the end of an hour and the beginning of another so they had more rest time, but I wanted the Little Dog style challenge.

I started at 11am on Thursday. It was pretty hot and I was sweating a ton by the end of each mile and by about mile/hour 4 or 5 I knew I needed to revise my strategy in how I was dressed. I realized I was going inside and just sitting in a wet shirt for 45-50 mins and it was unbearable. I showered after the 8th hour and then started rotating between two shirts. I would wear shirt 1 for a mile, immediately take it off and then put on shirt 2 right before going out for the next mile. Because of the humidity here in Florida, they never got dry, but they did get slightly less wet.

Through the wee hours of the night I struggled to stay awake and would set my alarm for five minutes before the hour just in case I fell asleep (anytime I did nod off, I would immediately spring back up thinking I had slept through the beginning of the hour). In the last 8 hours the chafing got pretty bad. I had been taking off my shirt, but not my pants, so for the last several hours, I had to air stuff out and I applied desitin to deal with the pain of the chafe.

Since I was only doing one mile in each of the runs and the weather stayed great all night, I was able to do all of them outside around my neighborhood and none on the treadmill. I also kept up a pretty brisk pace for me and my very last mile was my fastest mile. All in all, a really great challenge, but it showed me that I will definitely NOT be participating in a Little Dog Front Yard challenge in the future.




My Big Fat Virtual Summer (1 of 3)

So with all of the race cancellations and everything that has gone along with this crazy global pandemic, I did a LOT more stuff than I thought I would. I did three different 24hr challenges, an “Untrained Ultra”, a marathon, a 50k, a 50m, and a 69m (where I got my first virtual DNF that I chased away with a virtual finish!), a DNF that I’m still processing, and a fun month-long scavenger hunt. I’m going to go in chronological order and discuss all the dumb stuff I did!


Aravaipa Strong 50k

Date: Friday, April 17th

Finish Time: 6:23:07


Compared to many of these challenges, this one was one of the easiest. It was still relatively early into the ‘rona, barely into the hot season, so it was a pleasure cruise compared to some of the later challenges. This was one of my first really long runs where I would be leaving from home and being self-supported the whole time. There was also sidewalk pretty much the whole way except for about a mile of it. I used gas stations to support myself and had a nice time. Nothing super interesting to report. I had a pretty good finish time considering not being very efficient when I stopped to restock at various gas stations.



Yeti 24hr Challenge

Distance: 30 miles

Date: Thursday-Friday, April 23rd-24th


This challenge was an interesting one, but the thing I was most interested in was the super cool shirt design and the fact that it was providing work to The Opportunity Center. So I signed up and decided to keep it to my normal neighborhood routes and a couple runs on the treadmill if the weather was bad.

This was a LOT of fun. I started after work on Thursday and no run lasted more than an hour, there was plenty of time between each run, so it wasn’t like I felt pressure on the time and I could rest. I also realized that it really doesn’t take much time to get ready for a run. The first few times I was standing on the corner of the block just waiting for the time to tick over to the top of the hour, but by the end I knew that it really only took me one minute to get my things together and another minute to walk to the end of the street to begin. It was like I was just going out for a short run each time and I never felt the cumulative effect of all of the miles. I would 100% recommend this challenge to anyone and everyone.




Sugar Badger 50 mile

Finish Time: 11:07:06

Date: Friday, May 1st


I had grand plans for this and well, they didn’t pan out. My original plan going into it was going to be to “Put the sugar in Sugar Badger” by stopping at several dessert places along the way as my method of fueling. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and I was basically miserable for 35 miles of the run, but hold up, I’ll get there.

I first stopped at an Ocala classic – Tas-T-O Donuts for a glazed cake doughnut and had a very weird encounter. I bought my doughnut and I wanted to take a picture in front of the iconic sign. After I took my picture a guy who was ordering at the window said something along the lines of, “Oh that’s original, taking a picture of the fat man buying doughnuts.” I didn’t hear him at first and asked him to repeat it, so he did, and I was just flabbergasted. How is this dude so self-involved and self-conscious about his own behaviors that he would call out a total stranger for taking a picture of their food and a sign with a phone that clearly wasn’t even pointed at him (it was pointed UP at the SIGN and the ordering window wasn’t visible because I was holding up a doughnut). I waited until he left, got a new pic, and then went off down the sidewalk.

My next stop was about 4ish miles away at another doughnut shop. It was a place I had never tried before, so I asked the person working there what their recommendation was and I ended up with an amazing cheesecake doughnut. It was about a mile later that I realized I wasn’t feeling so hot. I wasn’t sure if it was the doughnuts (I do not eat doughnuts on the regular) or what, but I kept on going. My next stop wasn’t for another 10 or so miles, so I thought I’d be better by then.

By the time I got to the Wawa about 2 miles from the next stop (mile 25ish), I knew I wouldn’t be getting a dessert at the next stop. Instead I got some gingerale and kept going towards the place and turned around instead of going in (because I had planned my route very efficiently and I didn’t want to have to add mileage at the end).

My next stop was a racetrack where I got some water and a blue slushie. I very briefly considered calling someone to come and get me, but by that point I was about 30 miles in, realized my pain and nausea was due to my uterus, and figured I may as well keep going and get it done. I had already been majorly suffering for 15 miles, so what was another 20 miles?

I headed to downtown Ocala to stop by Stella’s where I got a baklava and another gingerale. I sat on a park bench in the shade just off the square to eat my treat and drink the gingerale. I was in the final 15 miles of the run and decided to skip the last planned dessert stop. It was going to either be a place that made fancy cake or an ice cream shop, but I was so nauseous that neither option sounded appealing.

By the time I got to about the 40 mile mark, I was over it. I wanted to be home, I felt like crap, it was hot, and I was just done. I was drinking my water like crazy at this point and I ran out of water with about 5 miles to go and there were no convenience stores or anything else like that between there and home unless I backtracked a couple miles and I didn’t want to do that. Luckily, my husband was home from work by then so I called him and he met me about 3 miles from the house to do a full refill on my water.

Finishing the run where I started it over 11 hours before was a great feeling. I’d had a bad day, but I made the best of it and still think I had a pretty fun time, even though a lot of it sucked. But the Sugar Badger swag was worth it! I love that medal and shirt design!




Last Annual Heart of the South Race Report

I recorded an audio version of this race report, just in case you'd rather listen than read!  To listen to this race report, click here ...