Badger 100 Race Report

No crew. No pacers. No drop bags. No problem. Except wait. That’s not right. Lots of problems. All the problems. 

I knew taking on a hundred miler just after Vol State was going to be a challenge. I figured it would be a physical challenge, that my body would be so run down my legs would give out 10 miles in. Though the reality was that it was much more of a mental challenge with a little bit of physical troubles thrown in. I had 8 days of recovery between my finish at Vol State and the start of Badger.

First of all – the Badger 100 is part of the Ten Junk Miles’ Badger Trail Races. It includes a 100 miler, 100k, 50 miler, 50k, marathon, and half-marathon on a very nice rail trail. It was my very first 50-miler back in 2019 and I did the 100-miler in 2021 with my husband. Each year the race has been different because of various circumstances. 

Year 1: Normal

Year 2: Virtual due to Covid
Year 3: Tunnel detour (the amazing tunnel on the trail had to close due to structural issues, so there is a hilly road section to go around it)
Year 4: Bizarro Badger 

Bizarro Badger was due to a lot of things, but mainly because of the giant road detour that had to happen because 3 weeks prior to the race a truck messed up a bridge on the trail. This necessary detour was painful. Super hilly. As Badger in its normal state is flat, fast, and nice, the long detour of awfulness was in stark contrast to the rest of the trail. As it was unavoidable, no blame rests on the RD Scotty Kummer, but it was a bummer that the bridge couldn’t be repaired in time. I joked that due to the issues on the trail and the speed in which the state is fixing them, next year would be the “Oops! All Detours!” edition. As important as the trail is to the local economy and community, I’m surprised it isn’t better funded by the state. Please Wisconsin, love your trail as much as we do. Except you need to show your love with money.

This is not a dig at Ten Junk Miles Racing or the RD - detours were unavoidable

I signed up for Badger before I even put in for LAVS. It is not just a race, but a homecoming and reunion with my TJM family. It started as a race that my favorite podcast was putting on, but it has become so much more with all of the amazing friends I have made in the community. Since I did it last year, I was eligible for the second year concho (a concho is a circular decoration that can go on a belt, which is an amazing thing and encourages people to come back). Also, this year would have a larger belt buckle for anyone who completes the race in over 30 hours; unlike other races, this one celebrates the back of the pack and those who need more time to complete it.

Pre-Race

I rolled into town around 10:30am and knew that since I was there early enough, I would be able to help with setup. I got to the race’s storage unit in New Glaurus where General Kylia (Scott’s wife) was expertly directing her troop of volunteers to get all of the supplies sorted for the aid stations. We moved coolers, food, supplies, etc from the entrance of the unit into orderly rows and then when the trailer arrived, loaded them into that so they could be dropped at the station. 

After everything had been loaded into the trailers, I went along to the tunnel detour aid station to unload the supplies and set up the tent. It took a bit of figuring out, but we eventually got it. Holly snapped a picture of me with the tent as future reference of how it needed to look, lol.

Since we were done with all of the setup things we could do for the day, Holly and I headed over to New Glaurus Brewing since every time I had come to the area, it had been closed. Before we knew it, it was time to get our stuff together and head to packet pickup.

Thank you Holly for the picture in front of the alphorn players!

Packet pickup is a really special thing for this race. It takes place outside at Dot’s Tavern and serves as a social gathering to talk with friends old and new. The swag, which I did not get a photo of myself so I have stolen the photo from the TJM Racing page, was excellent as always. I love the hat! After I spent way too long there, I headed to the store for dinner, breakfast, and post-race foods.

 

Packet pickup shenanigans

I got to bed much later than I really should have. Added to this, I was tired from the previous night’s sleep (I went to bed at 10pm and had to wake up at 2am to get to the airport for my flight), so in the days before the race, I managed to only get about 9 hours of sleep. Whoopsie. As I set everything out, I realized I made a major mistake in packing. The first is that I brought my headlamp, but forgot the battery pack for it. The second was that I forgot my sparkle skirt. How was I going to race if I didn’t have some sparkle going on?? I posted my stupidity to TJM slack and within 30 seconds Josh H. came into the room with his headlamp (I was crashing on the sofa bed of an Airbnb that he, Meg C., and Ben had reserved). 

Note: This race report is going to be a little more all over the place because I had serious mush brain for soooo many miles. Things may be out of order or stories are dropped into random places. It is not intentional, but that’s how my memory is currently working. 

Aid Stations (this year according to my watch, not regular course mileage):

• Orangeville: start | mile 74
• Town Center Road: mile 7 | mile 68 | mile 80 (water only)
• Monroe: mile 11 | mile 64 | mile 84
• Gutzmer Rd: mile 19 | mile 55 | mile 93
• Hollywood: mile 23 | mile 51 | mile 97
• Tunnel: mile 29 | mile 45 | mile 103
• Belleville: mile 33 | mile 41 | finish at 106 miles
• Dot’s: mile 37 

Race Morning to Mile 20

The Badger has an interesting course, it starts in Orangeville, IL, goes to Basco, WI, back to Orangeville, and then finishes in Belleville, WI. So out, back, and out again (but you don’t go as far as Basco, which is 4.2 miles up the trail from Belleville). Since you are starting 30+ miles away from where you finish, those who don’t have a crew or a ride leave their cars at Belleville and ride busses to the start. It immediately made me think of Vol State, and this wouldn’t be the last time there would be similarities between the two races.

Following the pre-race briefing, Jenna N. came over and said, “I saw your post on slack and I had this at home if you want to wear it,” as she showed me a purple sparkle skirt! SHE GAVE ME HER SPARKLE SKIRT! I am 99% sure I teared up. There really is no better community than the TJM nation with their kindness and generosity.

The race started and we went trotting off on the trail. I planned to run the first twenty miles to bank some time for the naps I knew I would need later. In those first twenty miles I got to run with and have great conversations with several people including: Toots, Finny, Jens, Jada, Sherri, Penny, Lisa, and others. Once I hit 20 miles, I began walking and my feet were MAD. They felt exactly as sore as they had at Vol State (which was really freaking bad). Fortunately, the pain went away or my body tuned out the pain after about 2 hours and they never felt that bad again for the rest of the race. 

Before I get into the suffering and whining, I need to emphasize - I LOVE this race. I love the Badger State Trail. I love the community. And the aid stations? You won't find any better aid stations anywhere else on the planet. I have, and will continue to, encourage everyone I know to do this race.

Mile 20 to Mile 40

Once I started walking I did the worst thing any ultrarunner can do: trail math. I wasn’t even a quarter of the way done and I was already worrying whether it would be possible to finish. You’d think I would start running to mitigate those worries, but I tried and gave up within 30 seconds of a run interval. I just didn’t have it in me mentally to push. It was especially annoying during the 5 miles of heavy mosquitoes after the Gutzmer aid station. I had never been swarmed like that before and running to escape it probably would have helped. 

When I came into Belleville at mile 31, I saw Trena and asked her if I was crazy thinking I could finish at the pace I was going. As always, she was the voice of reason and calmed my worries and I continued on to Dot’s. The biggest issue with my ultra math was that I was thinking in LAVS terms. I had mentally divided the race into three 12-hour segments and it seemed impossible to do 32 miles per segment as I had not been doing that at LAVS. Of course, my brain refused to take into account the other elements of LAVS that makes the miles take longer: the extreme heat, necessary store stops, sleeping because you can’t just burn the bridges in the middle of a long event, etc etc. 

In 2021, I had run The Last Dot Standing 48hr race in which you run from Belleville Community Park to Dot’s Tavern and back. The race has a last man standing event, two 24hr races, and a 48hr race. Over the 48hrs I ran back and forth on those same 4.2 miles for a 100 mile buckle. Getting back onto that section was strolling down memory lane in the biggest way. I saw the cat farm where we counted how many cats were out at any given time, the section where Tiff and I yelled, “FUCK YOU WIND!” and threw up a middle fingers to the sky, the tree where Holly had thrown her ham sandwich at and it stayed nestled in the branches for the entirety of the event, the stretch where Tiff and I sang along to several songs including the Boogie Woogie Woo by ICP in the dead of night, and so many more. 

Dot's 2021

When I got to the aid station at Dot’s, I knew I needed to sit down and stuff my face as much as possible. So far in the race I had been eating plenty, but finding that I was always hungry and on the edge of bonking. I figured it was depletion left over from Vol State even though my crazy appetite afterwards had subsided earlier in the week. At mile 10 I was already sick of eating, but I knew I had to do it and shoved anything that looked remotely okay into my face. I ate two whole packs of nutty bars and some chips, then shoved a granola bar and some candy into my pocket for the road. The need for insane amounts of food and staying hungry lasted for the whole race no matter how many calories I took in. I went out with Toots, Finny, and Jens and saw familiar faces on the way back: Oak, Tursi, Lesa, Eric H., and others. 

 

Getting back into Belleville again, I had even more food and Scotty walked up to ask me and another runner if we had any trouble following the signs on the trail. No, not at all. It was marked just fine. A few minutes down the road I realized that meant that someone had gone off course; he had asked me the same exact question at Sugar Badger in 2021 after someone took off the wrong way despite the presence of signs and markings.

TMI moment - The race’s electrolytes are various flavors of UCAN Hydrate. Rather than bringing my own electrolytes for my front bottle, I used it even though I’m not a huge fan. This is the only thing I can think of that caused the bloating issue that I had. My stomach felt rock hard (not in a cool athletic way) and every few miles I felt a sudden urge to poo. I would take a side trail, be ready to go, and instead let out a giant toot. Luckily on the second day the aid stations had Gatorade instead and I had no stomach issues after making the switch.

Mile 40 to Mile 60

While all of the aid stations are great, Hollywood is the crème de la crème. Holly is a national treasure and knows how to run a super kickass aid station. Anytime there are struggles, the thought is – just make it to Hollywood. It is uplifting, exciting, has amazing food, and so many great friends volunteer there. From Belleville there is a 4ish mile stretch, the tunnel detour aid station run by Nora B., and then another 5-6ish stretch until Hollywood. So anytime I’m struggling, the thought is always, “Just get to Hollywood” because I know that’ll restore my spirits.

Rolling into Hollywood at mile 51 I was feeling bad. I resolved I would put my feet up and let myself rest for a bit. Cobby brought me some tots and a pizza roll to nibble on while I rested and various friends checked in on me to tell me I was a rockstar. I replied that I did not feel like a rockstar. I was seriously contemplating a DNF. While I felt like shit and couldn’t eat enough, I was struggling mentally more than anything. Doing the math is bad. Thinking about how long you’ll be out there is bad. But I was in Hollywood, and there was no way I would drop there. I got myself together and started the trek to Gutzmer.

When I arrived in Gutzmer it was dark. I flashed back to last year when Tom and I ran the race, it was late afternoon and still hot enough that the aid station was serving pink lemonade flavored shaved ice. I would continue to compare last year to this year and feel disappointed with myself that I was reaching aid stations much, much later than before. Which is ridiculous because I'd already planned to take as much time as needed and my aim was to get the over 30hr buckle.

I discovered at LAVS that as soon as full dark came on, I got a huge case of the sleepies. I had decided that rather than try to push through them, I would get the rest I needed and then continue. Matt M., who was part of the World’s Longest Turkey Trot with the previous year, came over to check on me as I settled onto a beautiful piece of cardboard to rest. I took my shoes off, plugged my phone into my battery pack, changed into my long sleeve, and tried to rest. At some point Oak and the gang passed through and snapped this photo.

I heard someone else come through and get offered a burger. Burger?! I perked up and asked for a burger, too. It was amazing and greasy and lovely. I continued to try to nap, and eventually Matt came over to kick me out of the aid station. I asked for and received another burger. I had reached a decision that I was going to DNF the race, but I was told that Gutzmer was no drop (I saw someone else drop there, but I wasn’t going to argue) so I had to either continue on to Monroe (and face the horrible detour) or return back to Hollywood. I knew dropping at Hollywood would be a no go, so I mustered the will to get up and continue on to Monroe so I could drop. It was mainly because I did not know the aid station works there, so I would feel less guilty ending my race there.

Mile 60 to Mile 74

I texted my husband to tell him I was going to DNF. He texted back that I needed to keep going. Get some caffeine, get some food, stay moving, and keep fucking going. I knew to never quit when I was having a low point, which I was, so I did keep moving even through the bullshit detour, which I realized reminded me of Vol State especially when I was warned about a dog that was trying to attack people. I flipped my mood around to positive and then started feeling really happy about quitting. I would get some sleep, be able to see my friends finish throughout the day, and hey, maybe I would have time to take a trip to my favorite coffee roaster (Berres Brothers) that I’ve been wanting to visit. 

I was 100% at peace with my decision. As such, I wanted to let my friends know before word traveled through the grapevine that I had DNF’d, so I posted to TJM slack that I was ending my race in a couple miles once I got to the Monroe aid station. Little did I know that Tursi, Oak, Finny, Toots, Jens, and some others were there. Tursi had read my post and told Oak, who then spoke to one of the aid station workers that if a woman named Shae tried to DNF, she was to wake him up because he was going to talk me out of it. 

I rolled up to the back of the aid station and took my pack off. Said hey to the group there and like a Kelpie emerging from silvery water sprung Oak from an emergency blanket cocoon, “NO! GIVE ME TEN MILES” It did not occur to me until this very moment that we were at a race by a podcast called Ten Junk Miles, so that is pretty amusing. I said no and that I was at total peace with my decision, but that I would wait a little while before I spoke to the AS workers about it. 

While Oak patched up Toots’ feet he handed me the DDB egg. A little backstory on the egg – at the 2021 Badger Suzanne, aka Duck Duck Boobs, was working at the Dot’s aid station. Each time a runner came through she would hand them a plastic egg that had a hand-written note inside and gave us the instructions that when the race got hard, we should open them. I can’t remember if I opened mine during the race or after, but I framed my DDB note in my office and treasure it. Oak saved his though. He said he would only open the note when he really needed it. He has it in his pack for every race no matter what, because who knows when he’ll need it. 

He handed it to me and told me to read it, but not let him know what it said. After reading the note, I burst out crying, knowing that I HAD to continue and I couldn’t let my race end. I think I even exclaimed, “Goddamn it, Suzanne!” Since I was going to keep going, I knew I had to get some caffeine in me. Luckily the aid station had coffee and I had purchased a hot chocolate packet for just this reason – nothing better than a late-night/early morning aid station mocha. 

During the journey to Orangeville, we encountered several of our friends – Jada and Sherri with Chris pacing them, Oscar (who looked like a dog from far away because he was wearing a waist light and it was the way the brain could make sense of it, so I was laughing my butt off), Steph, Trena and Penny, and some others. One guy (Greg?) had a very pronounced lean and said he was going to sleep on the trail, but we were getting close to the Town Center Rd unmanned water station, so when we got there we helped lay out a tarp and gave him a trash bag for a blanket. 

Oscar snapped this photo of us in the early morning hours (I'm holding my hand over my boobs because I'm covering my headlamp which I strapped to my chest)

The distance between Town Center Rd and Orangeville is apparently only 4 miles, but I think there was some type of trickster god manipulating time and mileage, because it seemed to take forever to get there. Oak was excited because he had some funky flavored chips in his drop bag to share with Kat and we were both excited to see Kat, Azam, and Angela. Once you get to Orangeville, you are seriously counting down and each time you see something, it is the last time you’ll see it during the race. No ifs, ands, or buts – if you can make it to Orangeville, you had better turn your ass around and get to the finish.

Mile 74 to Mile 106/Finish

I noticed a mile (or 8 miles or 20 miles or whatever the trickster god decided) from the aid station that I had a blister under the tape on the ball of my foot underneath the big toe. I’d never had one in that exact spot, but I knew it needed to be fixed ASAP or I would be in big trouble. I headed over to a picnic table that had all sorts of good footcare supplies and started examining the blister. It was barely forming, so not giving much to pop, but I kept up with my safety pin until I decided to bug Oak. He stabbed it a few times and then applied a massive amount of pressure to fully get all of the liquid out. It was super painful, but I was glad for it because I would not have been able to cause that much pain to myself to fix the problem.

While there, either Kat or Angela, I can’t remember who, handed me a plastic gingham tablecloth to keep warm. It was cold out (for me, others would say 60℉ is nice, but no). When we left I took the “blanket” with me. At this point we were officially going to be riding the race cut offs and getting to aid stations that were on the verge of closing. I’d never been in this situation before, so it was kind of daunting to know we still had so many hours to go and there was a possibility we could get pulled from the course if we didn’t keep up a good pace. 

As we went through these miles, we attempted to pick up other runners so we had someone else to talk to and could help motivate someone by having others with them, but we weren’t successful for any appreciable amount of time due to pace differences. I barely remember the Monroe aid station except for Oak’s friend Mary kicking us out since we were lingering for no reason. The lingering was likely due to not wanting to do the damned detour again. It was the last time through though and I vow I will never be on those roads ever again in my life. Fuck those roads.

Getting off the detour was a much needed mental boost. All we needed to do was get to Gutzmer, then get to Hollywood and we had it in the bag. The distance between Gutz and Monroe is long; right around 8 miles and it seemed to never end. I swore that the Potawatomi group decided to move their aid station further away just to spite us. I kept looking for the bright blue of the portapotty and finally it was in sight as I saw a 50-mile runner go into it. When we arrived Rachel, who was doing the 50k, was there so we chatted for a bit before she went off. It was then that we discovered that Hollywood was about 4 miles from Gutz, not 6 like we thought! This news instantly cheered us up as we were definitely going to beat the cut offs. 

A short time later Oak and I left the aid station and were Hollywood bound! It wasn’t long before the energy of Gutzmer Rd wore off and I was struck with the mid-afternoon sleepies. I was attempting to do that thing where you keep walking and close your eyes in hopes that you’ll be able to sleep and keep moving at the same time. It never works out. I looked back and Oak looked to be in a similar situation, so I suggested a 10-minute trail nap. He agreed and we each selected a nice section of grass to sleep on. I elected for the side of the trail and he ended up in the middle of the trail. I took off my shoes, threw my bandana over my face and almost instantly passed out. We woke up 10 minutes later to Oak’s alarm, feeling refreshed. Later we would find out that a couple runners went right past us and we had no idea. 

Again, we set out down the trail and after a few miles Hollywood was in our sight and we both got emotional. It was really Hollywood, we were really doing this thing. We were so, so close. We got all the hugs in Hollywood. This was the aid station to treasure and stay at for a bit. Eat some food, share some stories, hang out with everyone. Rachel had been at the aid station for a while, too and we were glad she had waited for us. After 30 minutes we got back on the trail to make our final push to the finish. 

Getting the VIP treatment at Hollywood

Having Rachel with us was amazing. She told us stories of her adventure running that day and what happened the previous day while she was volunteering at Hollywood. We were hiking at a good pace and I know we all felt completely invigorated by each other’s company. Before we knew it, we were approaching the last aid station before the finish. I had some food things while Rachel and Oak talked to Nora Bird, who ran that A/S.

Actual hero, Rachel B.

After leaving and starting the final segment to the end, I really started to struggle. I felt like my feet didn’t want to move, I needed to sit down and just chill, I was starving. Still feeling like crap and simultaneously wanting to finish the race with Oak and Rachel, but also hoping they would leave me to sit down and be miserable for a while. I didn’t let myself do that and kept moving forward. As we neared the finish Oak kept talking about how all of our friends would be there waiting for us. I had doubts because it was so late in the race and I imagine all of them had left to their hotels to sleep. Maybe one or two of them would have stayed behind? 

Oh, how wrong I was. We got into Belleville Community Park and the people at the finish line cheered. Everyone was there. I let Rachel go ahead to get her finish first and Oak let me go ahead. We weren’t quite DFL, but we were close. 

The set of stairs in the park to the finish line

After crossing the finish line and being greeted with a great big hug from Holly, I burst into tears. The next several minutes was hug-a-palooza as all of our friends rushed the finish line to hug. SO MANY HUGS. I could not believe I had done this crazy thing. I finished Vol State and with an eight-day recovery period, turned around and completed another 100-mile event. It would not have been possible without the support of my TJM family and all of the amazing volunteers at the race. I am so, so lucky to know all of these amazing people. 

See you next year at Badger!

Keys 100 Race Report

 

Note: I am writing this race report approximately 3 months after finishing the race, but I wanted to capture my experience before I forget the pain and triumph. I think I've forgotten some particulars, but this is a good approximation of events.

 Training

I hate when people call a race a “training run” so I will not do that, but this race was a specific part of my build up for my upcoming journey run at The Last Annual Vol State. 100ks of Convenience included navigation, roads, and convenience store stops, GSER 100k had roads, heavy navigation, and plenty of hills with a monster climb at the end, and the Keys would be my prime time to run on road shoulders of heavily trafficked roads as well as gear test in the high heat and humidity. 

Part of my preparation for Keys included plenty of heat training. I often checked the weather for the Keys and most of the time it was cooler there than where I live. Central Florida does not have the benefit of an ocean breeze, so typically our temperatures are hotter and more chokingly humid than down south, so it was nice to know that the weather would never be as bad as what I was running in regularly. I ran outside at the hottest parts of the day and created my own homemade sauna, aka a space heater in my shed where I spent an hour doing yoga and sitting around in 105-110℉ heat. My coach, Ani Weiss also knows how to build my fitness without wrecking me and I felt very physically prepared going into this race. 

My husband Tom would also be joining me for the duration of the race. We previously ran the entirety of the Badger 100 in 2021 together. It worked well because I slow him down in the first half and he makes me run more in the second half. We were hoping for a similar result this time. 

Pre-Race

One annoying thing about the Keys 100 is that you now have to have a crew (pre-covid there were some aid stations and water drops and runners could visit stores for necessary items but that has gone the way of the dodo). I’m not a huge fan of having a crew because I get crew guilt (more on that later), but needs must. I put out the call to my group of friends that I was looking for and my friend Cheryl agreed and roped her boyfriend Eric to come down and crew. In exchange they would get…uhhhh, a flight and a night in Key West they couldn’t enjoy because they were exhausted from crewing? After picking them up from the Miami airport Thursday night, we made the drive to Key Largo on Friday. 

The race had a livestream of the pre-race panel and since we weren’t going to make it in time, we listened in the car. The instant Bob Becker told a story of a runner who died the previous year a few days after the race because of an electrolyte imbalance we turned off the livestream. We did not need that weighing heavily on our minds right before we took on the challenge.

The day before the race was not ideal as I typically aim to have a very chill day before a race, but due to some issues with school stuff, I ended up staying up later than I wanted to and stressing about that. The morning of the race I briefly contemplated taping my feet, but since I’d had zero issues in my last two races, I figured I would be fine (narrator: it was not).

The whole gang!

Mile 0 to Mile 20

The race starts in the parking lot of Diver’s Direct in Key Largo and it is quite chaotic. Waves of runners take off every three minutes and we had a 5:51am start time which is based on the order in which people register. The elites get the 5:30am start time, which means I never ever had a chance of seeing them. The line for the portapotties was long and I ran up to the start line, still trying to pull up my pants to where they needed to be, as Bob Becker told us, “Go!”

In addition to the 100-mile runners, the race also has relay runners. We discovered pretty early on that it is very easy to get caught up in a relay runner’s pace. I kept looking at my watch knowing that we had to throttle back our speed or risk burning out too early. The weather wasn’t too hot, but the humidity was definitely there. 

As a result, I ended up with squishy shoes. I saw other squishy shoe prints in front of me so I knew I wasn’t the only one dealing with the issue. Tom and I were running a nice pace and I didn’t want to break up the flow by changing my socks so early into the race. RED ALERT, RED ALERT, THIS IS A BAD IDEA. I will also straight up say that for the past two 100k races I’d done, I did zero pre-taping, just globbed on some trail toes and I was fine.

The smart things to do: pre-tape known problem areas, dry my feet and apply more lube, and change socks and/or shoes. What did I do? Nothing. Shae, you absolute turd, you know better.

  

Mile 20 to Mile 40

Around this point Tom started feeling off. He sometimes struggles with running in the heat. Because of that, we started walking more. In the past walking has always done me in at races. Feet move differently in shoes and blisters pop up in ways you don’t experience while running. My last two races had almost all running and minimal walking, so I did not factor in how much walking, especially in still squishy shoes, would impact my feet. 

As the day got warmer, Tom began to suffer more. He had the mental will to continue, but his body said no. Without going into it, it shut him down and there was nothing he could do. Eric and Cheryl arrived to pick him up and I continued on. 

At that point I had to pee, but there was no portapotty; using the bathroom anywhere other than a portapotty or approved store is strictly prohibited and will result in an immediate DQ. I figured there would be one after the bridge I was going over, so I looked forward to that short crossing.

What I didn’t know was that I had started Long Key Bridge, the second longest bridge in the Florida Keys. Long Key Bridge is nearly 2.5 miles long. I tried to pick up my running pace, but at times I was slowed to a walk or had to stand still so I didn’t pee my pants. In my opinion, this was the longest bridge during the Keys. It is one of the few pedestrian-only bridges, so it was filled with groups fishing off the various outcroppings. There were also several garbage cans along the bridge and I fantasized about hopping inside one and peeing. I stopped drinking water in hopes that it would make me have to pee less.

I also spotted this bucket truck, which was literally parked IN THE OCEAN and it had a portapotty next to it. I was mad at bucket trucks parked in the ocean because they could go to the bathroom and I couldn't.

Hard to see, but the portapotty is near the front of the truck

As I said before, the bridge is only 2.5 miles, but you could have fooled me. It felt like ten miles. When I finally saw an end to the bridge, I desperately started looking for a portapotty. There was none to be found. I asked my crew and they told me there was one a few miles up. Nope. I was going to go. I got into the car, closed the door, and did my best to piss into a Gatorade bottle (as a woman, it is very, very difficult especially crouched on the floor of the front passenger seat). Afterwards I felt a million times better, but also bad because now my crew had to be in a pee car, but at least it wasn’t in public? I wiped the floor of the vehicle the best I could, but I’m pretty sure they had to go back in with some paper towels and wet wipes. 

Mile 40 to Mile 60

Five(ish) miles after the end of Long Key Bridge was the infamous Hell’s Tunnel. It is said to be one of the hottest parts of the course as most people arrive in the peak heat of the day and it has foliage on both sides of the bike path, so there’s no breeze at all. I asked for and received an ice bandana, but having it on my back ended up being too cold, so I swung it around to my front for a bit. I had to alternate because it was just too cold/painful to have ice that close to my chest or back. This was the first time I’d ever used ice in a race and it solidified I didn’t like it. I had snug a few stray cubes into the pocket on the back of my shirt, but they melted fast or I removed them after a little while.

At some point in the middle(?) of Hell’s Tunnel, I stopped to do some foot repair. My feet were megafucked. The heel blisters and ball of the foot blisters were going to be a problem. The toes hadn’t yet posed a problem, but they were on the verge of doing so. It was then that I accepted that I’d be walking the vast majority of the race and that was okay. It was going to hurt, but I would get it done.

 

I can’t remember exactly where, but between 40 and 50, I started feeling mega crew guilt. We all know that ultrarunning is a very selfish sport and that it takes up a lot of time. I’ve dealt with really bad crew guilt before and it was one of the main reasons I DNF’d a “virtual” 100 miler a few years ago. I feel bad for the people sacrificing their time and attending to dumb little me. I came into the crew stop, sat on a rock and told Eric and Cheryl that I was having a real bad time mentally. I felt bad for them having to shuttle from spot to spot to give me water and food. I felt bad for Tom for sitting in the car recovering from heat issues. I felt bad because I knew that I couldn’t quit because where would we even stay that night?

Funny enough, that was one of the main things that kept me going. Especially when it got really late. There was nowhere for us to go. It was hard enough finding a hotel for the night after the race, I couldn’t imagine how difficult finding a room for that night would be or how exorbitant the price would be. Some of the things I focused on were: you need to make it through this so you can make it through Vol State, there’s nowhere else to go tonight so you might as well keep going all the way to Key West, you paid waaaaaaaayyyy too much for this race to not get that pretty buckle. Very silly reasons for sure, but they kept me going. Getting ahead of myself though – back to the pit of despair.

Around mile 47ish, I realized that I would be arriving to Seven Mile Bridge about 45 minutes after the time I wanted and I got really bummed. I wanted to get there and be mid-bridge as the sun was setting, but there is no stopping the passage of time, so it was going to be dusk and then dark on the bridge. Knowing there was a McDonald’s in Marathon, I texted my crew to ask if they could get me fries. When I got to the Marathon Garden Club (the location of the 50 mile start), the fries were gloriously hot, fresh, and life affirming. 

It was maybe a mile and a half onto the bridge that the sleepies started to hit. It was one hell of an awful place for that to happen, too. You’d think with the cars flying by going 60+ mph while you’re on a narrow shoulder would wake a person up, that was not the case for me. Darkness starts, I get sleepy. Them’s the rules.

 

The beginning of Seven Mile Bridge

Mile 60 to Mile 80

As I came into Big Pine Key I saw my very first Key Deer. Instant tears! They are a very special kind of deer that only live in the Keys. They are small, some compare their size to a dog but they’re a little bit taller than that. I first learned about the key deer while listening to books from Carl Hiassen, which a friend had recommended. Listening to his books about the wild characters in the Keys got me really excited for this race, and the deer were something I really wanted to see.

Since Cheryl told me that she needed 14ish miles that weekend, I asked if she wanted to pace at the next crew point. That would give her time to get into running gear and mentally prepare herself to endure my company. At the next crew point as I drank a red bull and ate some room temp ramen noodles (noodles soften with water, no need to be fancy and try to acquire warm water in the middle of the night), I warned Cheryl again that there would be very little, if any, running, but she agreed to spend the time with me on the road. We saw a few more adorable deer and I kept up a litany of really dumb stories from my tired but caffeinated brain. We may have done a little bit of run/walk, but I can’t remember. Once she was done with her miles, I started out again on my own.

Late night snack of champions!

I was feeling pretty raw in my undercarriage area and going to the portapotty in the parking lot around mile 75 I discovered something was bleeding, but I wasn’t sure what. Lady zone, thighs, bhole. Take your pick. Something down there had a lot more chafe than I would have liked, so I threw some more trail toes on and shrugged my shoulders. Not much to do but endure it.

I'm genuinely not sure if I felt as rough as I looked there or not.

The sleepies in the night are a killer for me

Mile 80 to the Finish Line and Beyond

The next several bridges and miles are a bit of a blur. Everything looks the same during the night and I knew I was going over absolutely gorgeous places that I didn’t get to see at all. Darn me for not being one of the super speedy runners that gets to see all the pretty stuff during the best part of the day. Oh well, I got to see a very nice sunrise and got the happiness that comes with finally being able to take off your headlamp.

With 10 miles to go and the heat already starting up for the day, I went into my very first store of the race. It was a Circle K and I wandered around for a bit to search out the best breakfast to have; I made sure to stop in the beer fridge and enjoy the chilled air for a minute. I found a sammich and an icee and put my feet up to eat them next to the car. This is one of the many stops I made that were way too long. If I had been crewing me, I would have kicked myself out much sooner every single time I stopped at the crew car. Buuuuut, I knew that my crew was very nice and they didn’t have the heart to kick me out really fast, so I took full advantage of all of the rest time they allowed me.

I met up with the crew at Dion’s with a little less than five miles to go; Tom was dressed back in running clothes and was ready to go! It reminded me of when he paced me at Long Haul in 2020 when my feet were bad. This time my feet were worse, but I was moving better than I had then. I even ran in teensy little bursts here and there, much less than he wanted, much more than I felt like doing. 

We got to Smather’s Beach and ran along there, hoping and hoping our turn would be coming up quick. Several people who had done the relay or finished the race cheered us on and told us we were close to the finish (not quite the truth, not quite a lie). We hit that final turn and ran through the inflatable arch at the finish where I was presented with a medal and a buckle! It was beautiful! My final finishing time was 29:22:20. It was a long ordeal, over the time I wanted, but it is what it is.

 

And then all I wanted to do was sit down. Sit down. Right now. The award ceremony for all of the races was happening right then, so the tent was extremely crowded, which did not help the way I was feeling. I went from sitting down to, “I need to lie down NOW.” So there I was, in the sand, holding my buckle, and entirely all of the people around me who seemed to be in great spirits and showered. 

For some reason I was not having it and I wanted to leave. It meant that I totally neglected getting a photo under the finish line with the Mile 0 sign and running into the water at the beach like I had envisioned during the night. Getting into the hotel afterwards was a whole ‘nother cluster that I won’t go into; I should have gotten over myself and stayed at the finish line for a while, but hindsight is 20/20. 

Conclusion

The Keys 100 is absolutely incredible and absolutely awful. Would I do it again? Fuck no. Am I glad I did it? Hell yes. If you’re looking for a good challenge, I highly suggest putting this race on your list.

I think I could have run a lot more, but I didn’t really have the mental will to do so. The thing I always hear and should have said to myself, “If it hurts to walk and it hurts to run, then run.” I’ve beat myself up a lot in the last few months about not running this race more. I definitely could have had a much better finishing time, but I’m actually pretty grateful for the learning experience I did have. I learned that even with blistered, horrible feet I can finish a race and that I am capable of walking it in for 50+ miles. My feet were peeling and still healing going into Vol State, almost two full months later. 

Another part of this race that happened all throughout was talking to people. I enjoy talking to people at races. New people, old friends, whoever. At this race, I found several people who were repeat Keys finishers. I asked every single one WHY. Why would you do this crazy thing again? I got the full gamut of answers – “I don’t know.”  “The finish line is great!” “I really like to suffer.” “I’m very dumb.” 

It’s always interesting how people are drawn to certain events. Like the call of Vol State and Heart of the South. Why are those so interesting to me? Why would I want to do either? Well…I’m dumb. I like to suffer. I don’t know. The finish line is a relief and beautiful. At the time I didn’t understand the repeaters. I do now. They couldn’t ignore the call of the Keys much like I can’t for other events.